It’s been two days and all I can think about was the insane and immersive sexual experience I had two nights ago. I am distracted at work as I replay the images over and over again in my mind. I underestimated the power of role play. Not only was it a role play but it was also the process of trusting and surrendering myself to a complete stranger and my life feels completely enriched for it. It started in the peak of my fertile cycle. I notice those 8 days after the end of my period on my Flo app follows a week and a half of constant horniness. I am embarrassed by the number of times I need to muffle the sounds coming from my vibrator so my housemate doesn’t hear. I run out of battery on one device and need to quickly source the next vibrating object to appease me. Switching back to manual labour was not going to cut it and I notice the pile of toys I own growing bigger over the lockdown months, with a dedicated box for them now in my cube shelf. At this point in time, I wanted more than a toy, I wanted a person. But where does one find persons in the never-ending state of lockdown?