I had an affair earlier this year. I’ve been married almost 8 years – I know, I know, how stereotypical to get the itch after 7 – and I did not actively look for this but I feel into a relationship with another woman and it was thrilling for us both. We were each sensing that the risks were growing too high and then lockdown made the final break somewhat easier.
I have told the story about our first time together [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/eio6in/i_cheated_on_my_husband_for_the_first_time/) and [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/g2yiaf/i_cheated_on_my_husband_for_the_first_time_with_a/), but someone asked me to share more. I’ve tried repeatedly to do that but each time the words seem so paltry and thin and cliché that I have deleted everything in embarrassment. This is no different. I will never laugh at those [stories in the press about the “worst sex scenes of the year” in fiction again](https://literaryreview.co.uk/bad-sex-in-fiction-award), because it is incredibly hard to put down on paper what it feels like to have sex, which is not nearly as good a descriptor of what Lucy and I did as *fuck*, but that removes the element of it all that (cringe) ought to be described as _making love_. In my job I am trained to write and read with precision, so I constantly want to stop myself here and clarify or elaborate. But when you strip away all the other layers, the reason why it is so hard to write this kind of thing is because we just don’t have enough words to describe great sex. It’s too abstract or too anatomical. And I think the problem is intensified when it comes to the particularities of lesbian sex.