Throbbing. That’s how I’d describe myself. Constantly aching and needy. Partly because I have an insatiable libido, and partly because my husband thinks sex is “messy”, so we rarely have it. I tell myself that makes it okay that I flirt with men online. I tell myself that having other men describe how they’d fuck me, and cumming to the words, is okay because I have needs. And it was enough for a long time. But then I met Lucas.
We discovered by chance that we lived in the same neighborhood. We shared a love for hockey. And we both were insanely attracted to each other. I told myself we wouldn’t meet, we’d just enjoy the sexual tension online. Two days later he had convinced me otherwise.
He played recreational hockey with games ending around midnight some nights. He told me he’d park outside my place and I agreed to take a walk with him. Walks are innocent enough, at least it’s what I told myself.
On the phone before he arrived Lucas told me, “I’m going to kiss you, you know that right?”
I giggled nervously.