It probably won’t shock you to know that if you put me in a room with 99 good guys and one bad guy, my instinct is to make a beeline to the bad guy every time. And vice verse.
It’s ingrained in my nature.
With age came self-awareness. I fight it because—well–I’m just too old and tired. I had my last Hoo-rah almost three years ago. I like to believe I'm reformed.
I was just realizing this phenomena when I met Jay. I was in my early 30's and wanted off the crazy train. This would be just the first of many times I would attempt to make myself fit into the round hole of a “normal, healthy" vanilla relationship.
An ex-Coast Guard, Jay was blonde, blue-eyed, and held a good IT job. He did amateur boxing at the local ring downtown to deal with anger issues. He was sweet and a bit broken, being that he was raised by a clinically depressed mother. I saw this all as a good combination; he was just fucked up enough that we could share some common ground.