Author: johnnydongle

Me, a Methed-Up Lesbian & The Biker Gang (M/F, terrifying moments)

Hey, my usual disclaimer here: I'm a writer using the pen name Johnny Dongle, to protect myself & the identities of the people in my story. All of these stories are 100% true and really happened; I only change names. This particular story is one of the craziest I have.

OK, so it's sometime in the fall of 2012, and I'm cruising Craig's List for sexual shenanigans. I'm a single father of 3 kids and I have them 5 days a week. Working full-time and being a full-time dad consumes most of my time, so at the time I was cutting right to the chase and using CL when I wanted to get laid. When I post Craig's List ads, I always use my secret weapon, and that's the offer of a "sensual massage." I trained as a massage therapist long ago, right out of high school, so giving an awesome massage is my ace in the hole when it comes to getting laid, and I play it every time I can. If you can give a phenomenal massage, your chances of getting laid go up tenfold. Read more »

Baldy Fatman & The Arkansas Hotwife [m/m/f, threesome]

This is my second post. I'm a writer & decided to write about my true sexual encounters under the pen name of Johnny Dongle. I've had some crazy stuff happen to me, but if I post all of those at once, everyone will think I'm full of shit. So this one is much closer to the norm around these parts. Enjoy. Names are changed, but facts are 100% true, to the letter.

I use the Casual Encounters section of Craigslist almost constantly to find sexual partners and adventures. Some personal info here, if you wanna try and put a picture to your protagonist: I’m a single father of three kids. I work a fairly boring technology job, although I’m a trained massage therapist from my younger days (more about that in a bit). I’m graduate educated, in decent physical shape, not at all wealthy but I can pay all my bills on time. I’m heterosexual. In the looks department, I’d say I’m average. I’m just over six feet tall, dark blond hair, blue eyes. My penis is a little bigger than average, I guess, but not some massive porn-star kidney-scraper. Long and short, there’s nothing about me that screams “super-hot attractive stallion” but also nothing that screams “oh my God, get me away from that thing!” Read more »

I fail painfully in my attempt to rock a black girl’s world

I'm a writer and I go by Johnny Dongle, which is a pen name, because everything I write is 100% true and if I used my real name, well — that'd be bad. This is one of my true stories. If it entertains you guys, I'll post more.

I am an equal-opportunity lover, and as such, I LOVE me some brown sugar on occasion. It would definitely be more than “on occasion” if I could convince more black women to sleep with me, but by and large I'm not exactly blow-the-doors-off successful in that department. I believe in the Chris Rock theory of why I can't get a lot of action with black girls: while it's a common fantasy for white women to want to fuck black men, that shit just doesn't work the other way around, unfortunately. Not nearly as often anyway. To paraphrase Mr. Rock, “Sure, a black woman will fuck Brad Pitt or George Clooney, but other than than, black women don’t give a fuck about fuckin’ white boys.” Read more »