My mom started dating this guy when I was 14. He had a few children and one of them was a boy the same age as me. I had not previously known him because we went to different schools. I started going over to their house and nothing ever went on between us at first. We were just like friends, sometimes we even argued like siblings. I used to go into his room and just hangout and watch tv with him. One night, we were both lying in bed under the blanket and he put his hand on my thigh and slowly moved upward. Basically we ended up fooling around a bit (fingering, totally consensual), nothing too serious but this was my first sexual experience ever. Over time, we fooled around more and more (kissing, oral, fingering). We couldn’t get enough of each other. We eventually moved in with them so boy was that exciting. There were many nights of “going to the bathroom” aka sneaking off into his room. The excitement of being secretive and sneaking around was so thrilling. He took my virginity at 15, and he says I took his but I’m not sure if I believe that. Out of every guy I’ve ever been with to this day (7) he has had by far the biggest “member” of them all. Like, huge. He raised my expectations highly for every guy after that lol. I was young and dumb but part of me actually thought I loved him, and he told me the same. Over the next few (I’d say 4) years we fooled around under our parents and siblings noses. We were horny and very stupid teenagers. We almost got caught so many times and I actually think our parents suspected it. I have so many crazy sexual encounters between us that I wish I could share. We even had a few pregnancy scares (yikes—I know). He mistakenly told 2 of his friends about us and soon enough half of our graduating class knew the “rumor”. It ruined my senior year but honestly, I can’t say I regret what we did. I learned a lot about myself and I’m glad I got to explore sexuality with someone I was comfortable with. Hearing people call me “nasty” and “incestual” hurt so bad. I know it felt wrong but was it really though? We weren’t related at all, our parents didn’t even get married. After people started talking, I tried to cut him off, but he was obsessed, he would constantly blow up my phone wanting sex, saying I was the best he’s ever had, even when he had numerous girlfriends, it was always me he wanted. Eventually, it stopped. We are both 21 now with significant others and our parents have since split (they never married). We haven’t fooled around since I was 18. So yeah, that’s my deep dark shameful secret.