Untitled, or “How A Russian Playwright Had a Hand in the Seduction o[f] [M]y Dumb Ass.”

In the short time between now and when this happened, I’ve regaled a lot of my friends with this story. My female friends, in particular, love it because it’s a testament to how neurotic and awkward I am. One of my friends (If you’re reading this, MG, I hope you’re fucking happy) suggested that I post this online, mentioning this subreddit.

This probably reads like awful fan fiction (do you read that too, MG?) but I’ll try to do it justice regardless of fluctuating verbal tense. I’m Pat, by the way.

So I attend a major southeastern University. It’s the start of spring semester and I’m enrolled in “Advanced Acting II” to fulfill requirements for my theater minor. We meet twice a week. I’m not apart of the campus theater community so no one in the class knows who I am. I also make it known during our first class that I’m not majoring in Theater—which doesn’t sit well with anyone, seeing as it’s an “advanced” acting class. Theater majors don’t like outsiders or the uninitiated and they make that as conspicuous as they can.