[MF] Tinder Tale

So I’m a 25 year old millennial living in the age of online hook-ups. Yes I have a tinder profile, and yes this is a tinder tale.

It was about 8:00 pm and I’d just finished playing intramural basketball. I’m pretty sure the prize was something dumb like a coupon, but my friends and I mostly played just so we could be shirtless in public.

……..we won (insert alpha male)

Feeling euphoric I sat in the locker room scrolling thru r/RealGirls praising the internet. Afterwards I jumped in the shower trying to hide my chubby while thinking about the 6ft Amazonian blonde in my psycology class. “I might think about sex too much??”

With a Psycology 201 mid-term, and my folks coming this weekend. I needed to relieve my stress. Enter Tinder: putting Xanax out of business since 2012.

You may think a guy on tinder continuously swipes right, hoping for one nympho with a cum-dumpster tramp-stamp. Truth is guys can get quite judgmental. Like swiping right gives a girl permission to sleep with him.

—–> Tinder Secret: when matched never meet up right away, text for at least 2 days. This creates false intimacy, and removes all sense of slut shaming.