I was minding my own buisiness as usual. I never get outside my house much, but I needed to collect groceries so I could sustain myself. I’d had no sleep and I was all sweaty because I’d spend most of my nights fapping to nerdy men and stories of nerdy men choking people to death between their thighs. There is something about nerdy men that just rocks my socks off, so as I was grocery shopping, I could not help myself when I walked past the isle with chicken thighs, legs of lamb and pork rind – they immediately materialized themselves as the thighs of a nerdy gentleman in my mind – thighs ripe and thick – perfect for strangulation!
I got my groceries and it turns out I forgot all my goddamn money because my mind was so occupied about nerd thighs! I saw the woman at the counter eye me, as if she knew I was contemplating something and that she’d cop me when it turns out what I’m doing is now amounting to shoplifting.