Author: IDoNotUseThisForPorn

That one time I [m]asturbated too much and went to a bar.

As one sometimes does, I spent a day edging, playing with my cock and balls until I almost couldn’t take it any longer and then easing off. There’s worse ways to spend the day for sure. I was planning on having a “grand finale”, as it were, later in the evening, but completely forgot I’d made plans at a local bar with some friends. I figured, whatever, I’ll go and have some fun, and then I’ll get back later tonight and finish what I started. It’ll be so much the better.

I had, unfortunately, somewhat underestimated how close to the edge I was when I went to the bar. I was sitting there, feeling my balls EXTREMELY full and EXTREMELY sensitive between my legs. My cock never got less than half-mast, and I couldn’t pay any attention to what I was doing. I was trying to make it go back down, but the opposite was happening, when I saw a particularly attractive girl and felt what can only be described as a spontaneous ruined orgasm. Much to my embarrassment, I felt my balls begin to empty, and a load begin to run down my cockhead to coat my sack. Read more »

How I discovered that [m]y balls really are a bit of a weakness in the bedroom.

It goes without saying that the balls are a bit of a weak spot on the human body. If men were video game bosses, that would be the weakness that you have to hit to win the game.

But I’m talking about a different kind of weakness here. Not the sort of weakness involving mindbending pain; more the kind that just turns you into a submissive, sex-crazed maniac, unable to hold back.

I was having some fun with a fwb I was seeing at the time. She climbed up on my face- I’ve always loved facesitting, and she cums like crazy when she is up on top. Needless to say, I was feeling pretty aroused, and as she started to ride and grind on me, I felt my hips involuntarily thrust a little bit. She could ride for a loooong time, and she stayed up there for quite a while, grinding herself into me, having an orgasm or two. Eventually she turned around so she was facing my cock, and my nose got pushed into her asscrack, right up against her hole. Read more »

Just another [m]asturbation story.

I know, my desire to tell the world about how I jerk off makes me a visionary on par with Mark Twain. But what can I say- I’m all stoned and horned up and I feel like telling stories.

There’s something so uniquely hot about edging, even if you’re just edging yourself. I love to do it for so long that I can actually feel my balls growing larger over time. It starts slow, but eventually they get so full and fat that they feel like heavy little balloons hanging off my cock.

I am personally a more submissive guy, which usually doesn’t have much of an effect on masturbating- after all I can hardly submit to myself, and it is hard to do a one-man facesitting operation. However, what I’ve discovered is that I love to masturbate and edge until I literally cannot take it anymore and the cum just sort of starts to ooze and spurt out of my cockhead. It feels like I’m submitting in a way- that no matter how hard I try, I just can’t help but cum. Makes me feel weak and powerful at the same time. Read more »

How I discovered [m]y neighbor had the same name as me.

So this happened several years ago, just after I’d moved to a new state. I had moved into an apartment in a complex that was mostly student and military housing, with the result that many of my neighbors were on the younger, more attractive side of things. When I was unloading the last of my stuff, I caught a glimpse of my next door neighbor (like my bedroom shared a wall with hers) with her boyfriend. I briefly thought to myself “huh, she’s attractive” and then proceeded to completely forget about it and go about my day.

So it’s the end of the day- I’ve just moved states, and I am starting law school the next day. It’s bedtime, and I am very much looking forward to a nice, heavy night of sleep. Naturally, this is when my neighbors decide it is a good time to fuck. Loudly. My initial reaction was to get super annoyed- I was already tired and I knew I’d be more tired the next day. But then I hear two hands heavily hit the wall directly above my head, as they would when two people are fucking doggy six inches from my face. The wall is so thin I can basically hear every part of the sex. Including the moaning…which quickly turns into her moaning MY NAME. Apparently the guy she was fucking had the same name as me, and she was waaaaay into noisy sex, so my annoyed attitude quickly dissipated as I felt myself get hard listening to her gasps and moans punctuated by my own name. Read more »

Eating pussy seems to make [m]e cum.

Once could be a coincidence, twice could be an accident, but three times is a pattern, dammit! I would like to preface this by saying that I do not have any issues with premature ejaculation; the only times this seems to ever happen are when I have my face buried in someone.

The first time this ever happened was the very first time I ever tried facesitting. She’s bouncing and grinding up on me, and I just felt myself get harder and harder, my hands groping, having a hard time getting enough breath. And then all of a sudden I find myself going “wait, what’s happening” and as she pushes down especially hard, I just feel myself GO and start spurting like crazy. This was with a longtime partner, so it was more of a “hmm that’s interesting” moment than something that would be actually embarrassing.

The second time, on the other hand, was considerably more embarrassing. This was someone I was getting freaky with for the first (and ultimately only) time. I was doing my thing, getting my face between her legs, thinking about how fun this night was going to be. I got her there, and right about when I could start to feel her orgasm starting, my balls went off almost without warning. I just couldn’t hold back. After I finished eating her out she gave me this look like “what the fuck, how have you cum already”. Read more »