[MF] [Incest] I don’t know how to love you.

My mother was 21 and fresh out of college when she married the 35-year-old untenured Instructor she had secretly dated her senior year. I was born 7 months later, which explains why they were in such a hurry.

One day when I was 14 I came home from school 90 minutes earlier than scheduled. I thought the house was empty – Mom and Dad ought to have both been at their jobs. I was surprised to find my 50-year-old father and his 19-year-old girlfriend in the house. Shouting and threats ensued. I told Mom a few days later and they were divorced before my 15th birthday. I lived apart from him for years; Mom had custody.

The next months were difficult, but once the divorce was settled and court orders were complied with life settled down. I had such negative feelings towards my father that I was happy he was gone. I hated him for destroying our family (while he seethed at me for being the agent of his downfall). I declined the available parental visits to or with my dad, much to his relief.

[MF] Coming home too early

Everything is connected to something else, and my life now feels like the end of stories told by other people. Even I don’t know what I just said, so I better start over.

My father was much older than my mother, She was 21 and fresh out of college when she married the 35-year-old professor she’s secretly dated the entire senior year. I was born 7 months later, which perhaps explains why they were in such a hurry. I eventually had a sister.

When I was 14 I came home from school earlier than scheduled because a twisted ankle meant no tennis practice. One of the coaches gave me a ride in his car, so I arrived an hour and a half before I was expected. I thought the house was empty – Mom and Dad ought to have both been at their jobs. I was just as surprised as my father and his girlfriend when I walked in on them having sex. Dad and the young lady – a student, no less – didn’t hear me come in. I got quite an eyeful as my 50-year-old father and his 19-year-old student shouted at me and tried to find their underwear. I told Mom and they were divorced before my 15th birthday.