This story happened a couple months back, but I haven’t been able to get it off my mind. It feels like every day I feel a new way about it: excitement, disbelief, confusion, pride, shame. I’ve been a fan of this subreddit for years, so my latest feeling is that walking it all back on here might be therapeutic in some way. I wrote this up a month or so ago and went back and forth on submitting it, but figured it couldn’t hurt. I’m sure I’ll feel differently about that in a day or two.
Though many contributing factors were already in play at that point, it all came to a head at my office holiday party back in December. I started the job at a big corporate beast back in the Spring, but remained a fresh-faced unknown to most people there as I resided deep at the bottom of the hierarchy totem pole. The party itself was an office party in every sense: the occasional bit of awkward small talk, but mostly just hanging out with the same core people you work with everyday in the corner. Everyone dressed up just enough to seem more formal. Wine and champagne were flowing freely, one of the higher ups got especially sloppy “so we didn’t have to feel like we couldn’t have a good time.” It was damn close to being the most forgettable event I’d ever attended.