So it was a kink of mine that I never had the courage to make happen before. I enjoy psychologycal humiliation and have a sort of very “subjetives” kinks that not everyone understands. One of them were to humiliate myself in front of a man that I hate or hate me, prefereably an ex. But all my exes turned to became my friends after our break ups.
Then I dated this guy (31) who was really a prick to me, like, always gaslighting me, yelling, being sexist. He was that kind of guy who poses as a woke and feminist man, but is really sexist and likes to mansplaing etc. And I was really really in love with him. We were together for 1 yr and 2 months and it was always clear that he still loved her ex and kind of don’t liked me as a person, just liked my appearence and the sex. Not to mention that our sex was always really violent and degrading (to me, of course). I lost the count of how many times we fucked after a fight while he slapped my face really hard, spit on my face, things like that while I cry (during sex) as if he was still angry with me. I always enjoyed that kind of toxic sex.