Author: haxvral

When I’m alone at night I can hear your name whimper out of the edge of the glass as it swipes across my lips. It only happens when it’s late and I’m weak and the only thing left of the day is an empty stomach of bourbon. It happens as I light a cigarette I dug out of the ashtray with your lipstick on it. That’s the moment. The witching hour.

It’s your true name that I hear: the sound you cry when you are clawing at the floorboards, bucking with your high heels, with your hands twisting by your side. When, next to the bookshelf, your legs are in the air and a lock of hair is pinned to your lip. With your dress caught around your waist and your bra pulled down and your eyes glaring back over your shoulder—it’s the sound you scream out as you exhale a hundred short breaths of “oh fuck” with one arm behind your back and the floor wet with sweat.

That’s the name that summons you, called three times and crossed with whiskey.

We hold each other close like the only survivors in a nuclear winter. It is twilight: days under a blotted sun, nights under blotted stars. A Chernobyl world begging for its concrete grave. She moves naked and freely through the cold wastes, her radioactive body kindred to the radioactive world; each thing contaminating the next; an orgy of free protons and immeasurable half-lives. Atomic heat from a fallout heart.

She sits on my lap, facing me, her legs around my waist, her arms around my neck, her shirt falling off her shoulder, disintegrating. I lick her neck thirsty for water as microwaves from her body boil me inside. I close my eyes and struggle to think of the cold lakes I grew up around. To think of rusty drinking fountains in summer parks; fetid pool water I've swallowed. I beg for rain. All I receive is fire.

She kisses my closed eye. Her spit is cool for a second on my eyelid, then evaporates in her heat. She is killing me, her breast like uranium, her pussy like plutonium. She pulls me down. I can't resist. Her poison over comes me. Friction, fusion, fission. Read more »