it was a sunny day. johnny (played by my favorite pornstar ever johnny sins) has no idea what sex is because of his bad childhood. he is 30. he lives with his mom. johnny decided to go to the zoo with his mom when he gets to the zoo, he sees two monkeys banging each other.
johnny: what are they doing
johnnys mom: nothing
johnny: that is impossible it is impossible to do nothing. you are always doing something. even if youre dead youre doing something which is being dead.
johnnys mom: lets go look at something else
johnny: mom i want to know what the monkeys are doing. please tell me
johnnys mom: i am going to the bathroom
johnnys mom goes to the mens bathroom and has an experience with two gloryholes.
johnnys mom: give it to me baby
gloryhole person 1: i will need to check your stall to see if youre really a girl i have had a gay experience before and i dont want it to happen again
gloryhole person 1 sees that johnnys mom is really a girl and then he goes back to his stall and puts his wiener in the hole, gloryhole person 2 puts his wiener in the other hole.
johnnys mom gives gloryhole person 1 a blowjob and gloryhole person 2 a handjob.
back to johnny.
a zoo keeper who is a girl walks by johnny.
johnny: what are the monkeys doing miss
zoo keeper who is a girl: they are having sexual intercourse
johnny: what is sexual intercourse
zoo keeper: when you put your wiener in a vagina
johnny: what is a vagina
zoo keeper takes off her pants and underwear and points to her vagina.
johnny: that looks like ham
zoo keeper: put your wiener in it
johnny takes off his pants and underwear and puts his wiener inside. the position is doggy style.
zoo keeper: oh yeah ah wahh ehehehfe
johnny nuts prematurely.
zoo keeper: its ok it happens to every guy
zoo owner: what the absolute fuck why are your pants off and why do you have semen on your face youre fired
zoo keeper: what if i gave you a blowjob
zoo owner: no i have a happy marriage with my wife
zoo keeper: sure you do
then a monkey walks out of the cage and then goes on a bloody rampage and kills the zoo keeper and the zoo owner.
johnny: Ahhhhh!!
johnnys mom comes back with semen on her face.
johnnys mom: oh no a bloody rampage is happening ahhhh lets get out johnny
johnny: alright
they walk out and then a cannibal bites off johnnys moms leg and she is about to die of blood loss
johnny: noo mom noo
johnnys mom: johnny i always loved you i may have never said it but now i am. i love you johnny
johnny: i love you too ma.
johnny cries and kills the cannibal with the powers of karate.
the sky becomes red and then a bunch of zombies and skeletons show up and so does a werewolf named marty.
marty: haha i am MARTY
johnny: i will use my magic power blue beam on you marty!!!
johnny unleashes his magic power blue beam with his hands and then kills marty with his rage and anger.
old man: good job
johnny: who are you
old man: i am president joe biden
johnny: hi joe biden im johnny
joe biden: hi johnny i present you this medal of awesomeness. you will be known in history. april 23 will now be known as johnny day.
johnny: yay!
joe biden: lets kill these stupid zombies and skeletons
johnny: agreed
joe biden whips out a machine gun and shoots zombies and skeletons. johnny uses his magic power blue beam on them. the sky turns blue again. they celebrate. then kim jong un walks over to johnny.
johnny: go away kim jong un i dont like you
kim jong un: i am not kim jong un rips off face i am your father
johnny: dad youre back. why did you leave mom
johnnys dad: i regret leaving your mother every day of my life. not a day passes without regrets. i want to say im sorry to her. where is she
johnny: she is dead.. a cannibal killed her.
johnny and his dad cry. 2 year time skip. johnny and his dad are now scientists who discovered the key to bringing johnnys mom back to life.
johnnys dad: the key to bringing your mom back to life.. is… your poop
johnny takes a poop on his dads hand and then the poop transforms into his mom.
johnny: mom youre back!!
then the zoo keeper from earlier walks in.
johnny: oh my god its you zoo keeper who i had sexual intercourse with. i thought you were dead
zoo keeper: i am an android clone. i was built by the evil dr karl.
johnny: thats great, wait you said evil?
zoo keeper: yes i am going to kill you
johnny uses his magic power blue beam on the zoo keeper before she can kill johnny.
johnny: awesome i did it.
then the president joe biden and vice president kamala harris give johnny another medal and a cake. hooray for johnny! the end.