This is a not-so-short retelling of how as I grew my self awareness and comfortability grew with me. I got to where I am now in a way some might find relatable, but not everyone will, and although I’m genuinely happy where I am I hope YOU take the time and proper steps to grow in your own way to become who you really are. And with that:
Since I started watching porn, at around 11, I was always looking at the girl and then my focus would wander over to the guy… and his dick… and how good it looked sliding in and out of her. For a long time it made me “scared” but more like, “I like it, looking at it at least but don’t know what to feel about the fact that I did.”
And ofc, I’m a middle school boy, and it’s porn. All my friends were watching porn and it was even something we did together once (story for another time). But obviously, I didn’t really want to talk about it with my family and all my friends ever said about porn was about the women. So I never said anything for a long time and eventually it just, sorta, fizzled away into something that happened here and there, but was quickly and without thought, suppressed.