The train ride [FM]

My [f]irst job out of grad school was in NYC but I still lived in NJ so I had to take the commuter train. I was in my 20s, considered hot, and was growing into my sexuality. I always seemed to have crushes on my older professors and would make sure I gave them a show when I could but never crossed the line.

After a few months of riding the train, I noticed a couple of older men (40s-50s) would look me up and down either on the platform or when I walked past them. If there was a seat open next to one, I would sit down. If there was an open window seat, I would grab it and sometimes one of them would take the seat next to me. I preferred to sit in the back of the car and liked the very last car because it meant people weren’t always walking by.