(True story, but I’m going to describe each encounter in a satirical rich white gay kid tone)
So, I took my Vyvanse last night so I didn’t have to go to bed. Then I got on Grindr and saw a drug dealer who also wanted sex. I have a weed addiction, so I jumped at the idea.
Upon arriving, I walk in the discrete manner he told me to walk across his lawn, as his wife had access to the ring doorbell camera. I saw him at the door and said hi, kind of expecting to kiss. He didn’t kiss me, he just lead me inside, talked about the weed he sold me last week, and pulled his pants off.
Well, no foreplay, and darn, his penis was so flaccid, he told me it was 8 inches, but it didn’t really seem like it when he was flaccid. I just got to work sucking on it to get him hard. He barely said anything the whole time.