[Fm] I was celibate for a long time. And then I seduced a high school boy.

I was a typical wild child as a teenager. It was the early 80s. I partied. I drank. I used drugs. I slept around.

I REALLY slept around. And I got knocked up.

Being a teen mom slowed things down. I spent 18 years being a good girl. And my son grew up with such a soft spot

for young single moms that he decided to marry one. I thought I’d be done with child care and ready to focus more on

myself, but instead I was a grandmother in my mid-30s and having to lend a helping hand.

That’s not a complaint. Just a fact. I loved it! But it didn’t leave much time for dating. I had relationships.

Some of them were very nice. But nothing got too serious. And it definitely never got too wild.

I spent a lot of time doing yoga. I also did some cardio, but avoided running since it is uncomfortable when you’re

as busty as I am. I got really into the internet. And porn. And sex toys. And masturbation. In my 40s I felt like

[mF] 18 Year Old Luke is Ready to Become a Real Man w/ This Older Woman

Freddie was the first woman I ever saw naked.

Of course I’d seen pictures of naked women in magazines. I’d seen movies with nude scenes. I’d watched porn, like very boy does.

But she was the first woman I really saw naked.

She’d been in life since I was a kid. Her son had met and married my mother when I was just a toddler. She wasn’t old enough to be a grandmother. She was only in her mid-thirties, despite having a grown son. But she was like a grandmother to me. She played a huge role in my upbringing. And I only saw her in a maternal way for most of my life. But in only a few weeks, everything changed.

Freddie was a work out freak. She was at least 15 years older than my mother. And she worked twice as hard. Yoga was her big thing. As long as I can remember she had been laying her mat in front of a big screen and spending an hour going through an intense workout. I’d seen it a hundred times. Maybe even a thousand. So I don’t know why that one day made such an impression. Maybe it was just that I’d become obsessed with sex. And I was getting scared that it was never going to happen for me. I’d had brief relationships with girls, but I never got past second base.

[Fm] Seducing My Step-Grandson, Part 2

See comments for link to part 1!

Dinner was an adventure that night.

My son and wife were back from a day of drinking and partying. Bree was still at the house with Luke. Of course they’d realized later that I was in the house. But they didn’t act nervous. From all appearances, they thought they’d gotten away with something.

It was hard for me to look at them. Obviously, Bree was dressed completely normal. But every time I glanced at her I kept picturing her unbuttoned blouse in my mind. And every time Luke stood up I couldn’t help but glance at his shorts. I was looking for any sign of that monster hidden away in his pants.

I felt guilty. A good grandmother would have rushed in and broken things up. Instead I’d stood quietly in the doorway and watched the two 18 year olds get one another off. And then I’d gone upstairs and replayed the events over and over in my head. I’d gotten myself off twice in the shower. And then a third time lying in bed. That had helped me relax and get in a little nap. But I’d dreamed about sex and I’d woken up frustrated. I was half-contemplating finding an excuse to sneak off and meet the couple from the beach.

[fm][voy] A Frisky Trip to the Lake

I knew it was wrong.

I don’t trust anyone who ever says otherwise. People don’t really lose their head and become overwhelmed by lust and lose control. We all know exactly what we’re doing. And we make a decision to do bad things, even when we know we’re crossing a line. It’s not that we can’t help ourselves. We just choose to act and worry about rationalizing our behavior later.

I can come up with excuses. Just like everyone else. It had been SO LONG since I’d been touched. I got caught up in the moment. Although I’d been a wild girl who ended up with a baby when I was still a teenager, I’d spent at the past 25 years on my best behavior–raising Lance, going to PTA meetings, working hard, and then helping raise Lance raise his stepson, Luke.

But those are just excuses.

Like I said, I knew it was wrong.

I could have stopped myself.

I just didn’t want to.