[MF] How the camel statue got [M]e laid

I realize this is a little long winded but I think the set up deserves just as much attention than the dirty bits, so here you go.

“Where the FUCK is Gary?!”

Now although this may seem like a simple question with a simple answer, it was anything but.

First off, I’m about 5’9” and 210 pounds, got a little extra cushion here and there, and a half decent beard. Classic dad bod with a respectable amount of hair. I’ve always been in ok shape but nothing to write home about, same for my downstairs: grower not a shower, 7 inches and a little thicker at the head then base.

When the penultimate question was posed I was standing on the lanai of the house me and 2 high school friends were renting as we all attended a nearby university. The neighborhood surrounding the house was well known as a college student haven. Low rent and lower standards were the norm. I had recently started a graveyard shift job to help pay for school. The question of Gary’s whereabouts was posed to me as I arrived home from a shift, it was early morning and the sun had just peeked up above the horizon.