Author: filly_folly

[F] It’s been fun, but it’s time for filly_folly [F47] to log off

I haven’t posted for a while, though I have been writing–a lot. I have been loosening up as a writer and exploring more of my fantasies in addition to some of the stories I hadn’t thought about in a while. This includes some experiences that Keith reminded me of after reading my saga about our affair (yes, I sent him the whole thing, slightly edited, he didn’t need to know I thought he was a boring conversationalist). He loved it and sent back some notes: “what about that time when we ….?” I had forgotten some pretty sexy moments!

But anyway, I want to thank those who responded to positively to my writing. You gave me much needed encouragement about my skills as a writer of erotica.

And, finally, I want to flip the bird to all those who exploited the anonymity of reddit to threaten, insult, demean or otherwise shame me. Up yours.

Bye bye reddit. I’ll delete my account in a week.

[F] I (F46) had a secret affair for 8 months. It revitalized my sex life with my husband [PART XIII: Origin Story]

After my last post (my least popular), I reflected on how to make this posting on reddit thing work for me. Many of you suggested writing more about my sex life with Scott, my husband. I was conflicted about that for a while. On one hand, it makes sense: the point of writing about my affair with Keith was always in a way about how it revitalized my married sex life. On the other hand, I hesitated to “publish” too much about the most meaningful sexual relationship of my life with the person I love. If my stories have seemed cold about Scott, or more interested in other people, it’s only because I felt funny about sharing too much about our life.

But after a lot of thought, I think maybe this is the way for me to keep exploring myself and my sexuality. After all, though I am a randy little bunny who has fantasies about fucking lots of people and trying new things I wouldn’t do with Scott, at the end of the day Scott is my best and favorite lover. And apart from Keith, the only one in 20 years. Plus, things with Keith ended ages ago and though I nearly had a relapse a few weeks ago, that’s no longer an issue. Read more »

[F] I (F46) had a secret affair for 8 months. It revitalized my sex life with my husband [PART XII: Stasis]

To start with, I should tell you this is not a sex-heavy post, more of an update on where my adventure of self-discovery has taken me in the last few weeks. Short story long: it’s a bit of a disappointment right now. If you’d rather read about my happier sex stuff, you should start at the beginning of this saga: https://old.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/u33z2w/f_i_f45_had_a_secret_affair_for_8_months_it/

Anyway, it’s been a while since I posted. No real reason, except that I feel that I’ve kind of exhausted my real life experiences, so there’s not much to say. I’ve tried writing erotic fiction but it feels… unreal. I’ve also tried chatting with other people on reddit, I hoped that having someone to spur me on or help me explore my sexual self would help me scratch that itch, the itch that exploring my affair with Keith helped scratch. But this experience has been discouraging, to be honest. I did have one very hot exchange with a lady that turned into pretty filthy dirty talk–not what I was there to do, but I got into it in a big way. But just that one time. Otherwise, my experience chatting on reddit has been an eye opener, but not really in a good way. Read more »

[F] I (F46) had a secret affair for 8 months. It revitalized my sex life with my husband [PART XI: What’s Happening?]

*** This is Part 11 of the saga I started writing a while ago about my affair with Keith, which I started here: https://old.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/u33z2w/f_i_f45_had_a_secret_affair_for_8_months_it/ . I recently got back in touch with Keith after 5 years… Here’s what’s been happening in the last few weeks when I haven’t been posting at all.

I’ve been taking a break in my posts, using some time away from reddit to reflect on what I have and what I want, and how to make the best of the overlap between those two things. Several of you commented on my last post, when I was considering hooking up with Keith again. Most of you urged me not to. Thank you for helping me think it through and decide not to act. I think it was the right call. I think I have to accept that having naughty fantasies doesn’t mean having to act on them. My life with Scott is amazing, and though I think it’s natural to yearn for novelty, I appreciated your perspectives on what really matters. Read more »

[F] I (F46) had a secret affair for 8 months. It revitalized my sex life with my husband [PART IX: A New Development]

*** This is Part 9 of the saga I started writing a while ago about my affair with Keith, which I started here: https://old.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/u33z2w/f_i_f45_had_a_secret_affair_for_8_months_it/ . I didn’t think there’d be more to tell, but then…

As my dwindling number of loyal readers noticed, my story started stalling when I was done telling you about my affair with Keith. People wanted to hear more about that situation, not really about my other lovers and so on. Fair enough. But to be honest I couldn’t really think of anything more to say about Keith. Not that I told you everything. I wrote about the moments that stood out, but so much of the time we were together kind of blended into a general (but delightful) “8 months of amazing illicit sex.” So I figured my days writing about my sex life were over and I thought about trying my hand at fiction. I’m working on that, but I actually find it harder to write well about sex when I’m not kept honest by the facts. Read more »

[F] Portraits of my (F46) past lovers [Part III.ii: Graham]

This continues my “portrait” of Graham, following up on my journey of exploring my sexual past I started here: https://old.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/u33z2w/f_i_f45_had_a_secret_affair_for_8_months_it/.

Today’s instalment will be a bit different. I’ve paid attention to reader comments before and tried different things, like writing more graphically and so on. One reader I’ve been chatting with, K., has given me some advice that I want to try. I’m not sure I’ll be able to pull it off, but I’m going to try. Basically, she told me my writing felt more therapeutic than erotic. To me, that’s one and the same thing, but I wanted to try writing in a way she would find erotic too. So here goes. I hope it’s not embarrassing. At least trying to be more erotic and graphic suits the subject matter, because Graham was the lover I was most exploratory, least inhibited with. Read more »

[F] Portraits of my (F46) past lovers [Part XII: Ali]

This is a new chapter in the saga I started here: https://old.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/u33z2w/f_i_f45_had_a_secret_affair_for_8_months_it/, but it’s pretty different now, less a story than a dive into various memories.

Ali was my first real boyfriend and my first fuck. My first most things, actually. We were eighteen, late bloomers. Before we were together I had made out with a few boys at dances and parties, “dated” a few for a few weeks and that’s about it. I’d say I made out with more guys than most of my friends, and I was pretty into the idea of sex, but whenever I was with someone I was quickly turned off. There was a lot of clumsy boob-handling and fingering,but it was always too fast, fumbling, frantic, and fogged up with insecurity.

I felt sorry for these guys and acted like I was having a ball, but most of them didn’t make me cum or even feel good. I had to convince the two or three guys who agreed to go down on me, and I liked that better, but they would always stop after 30 seconds, long before I was ready to stop. The furthest I’d gone with anyone before Ali was giving a few blowjobs. It’s not that I particularly liked giving head, but I enjoyed giving pleasure. And it was so easy! But I didn’t truly like doing it until Ali. Read more »

[F] Portraits of my (F46) past lovers [Part XI: Professor P]

This is a new chapter in the saga I started here: https://old.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/u33z2w/f_i_f45_had_a_secret_affair_for_8_months_it/, but it’s pretty different now, less a story than a dive into various memories.

So, my plan for the next few instalments is to do a series of snapshots from my sexual education, if that makes sense. It’ll be like a bunch of portraits of my most important experiences with key lovers. This is all part of the same project as the story of my affair with Keith, about exploring my own self, my desires and thoughts and so on. But it’ll be less of a story and more of a series of portraits, in nor particular order. Most of this stuff has already been written in one form or another, but I’m re-writing them one by one for this ongoing saga.

I said it’s an account of my sexual education, so what better place to start than Professor P? He wasn’t my first lover and he wasn’t even the most important or memorable (before I met my husband Scott, that would have been my most serious high school boyfriend Graham, but more on him later). But he was still a very important step in my growth as a sexual being. Read more »

[F] I (F46) need a new title but this is just more of the same story [Part IX: Life Writing]

This is a new chapter in the saga I started here: https://old.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/u33z2w/f_i_f45_had_a_secret_affair_for_8_months_it/. It’s different, but the story of me and Keith was mostly done. This is still part of that story, with a different focus.

It was Scott who encouraged me to take a life writing class that was being offered as a night class for adults in my school board. Teachers got a discount, it was pretty cheap to begin with, and it was close to home one night a week. Scott suggested it’d be good for me to try my hand at writing, something I had always wanted to do since high school. When Scott and I met I was giving it a try, publishing a few poems in zines (remember those) and even in a few literary journals, and “working on a novel,” as I said for years before I had to admit to myself that I wasn’t, not anymore. Read more »

[F] I (F45) had a secret affair for 8 months. It revitalized my sex life with my husband [PART VIII: Falling Action]

On goes the saga I started here: https://old.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/u33z2w/f_i_f45_had_a_secret_affair_for_8_months_it/.

In the weeks after our Easter getaway Keith and I started seeing each other less often. It was obvious he was losing interest, just like me. There was no conversation about this, but as far as I know we both knew and let it fizzle out. I mean, we still sometimes ended up at his place for a quickie, or a not so quickie, but it was maybe a few times in three weeks, then once a month. Meanwhile my sex life with Scott had gradually roared back into something like our earlier, pre-kid levels. I found it much easier now to initiate, and Scott was always happy (no, thrilled) to oblige. Soon he was initiating too. I wish I could say we started experimenting or that we became better communicators. Or that we were having sex five days a week. But no, we just got our appetites back and maybe twice or three times a week we had some great, simple but fun sex. Read more »