I was bored so I re-downloaded (for the millionth time, probably) Tinder and started swiping around. Tinder is by far the worst dating app—in that the people on there generally suck—but occasionally it delivered a good fuck.
I swiped through for a few minutes—almost exclusively left swipes—when I saw Ashley, and I audibly laughed when I saw her profile. She was 49 years old—not that there’s anything wrong with that, just that it was genuinely funny that she was swiping on people half her age.
Now, I couldn’t be sure she was real, but if she was, she appeared to be pretty hot. Blonde and curvy, her pictures showed some delightful tits and an hourglass frame. Plus, her profile said she liked to work out, and a picture that showed her arms appeared to confirm it. I was willing to give it a chance, it was amusing at the very least. So I swiped right.
And I was very amused when, a few hours later, I matched with Ashley and had a message: Hey cutie ;)