Author: Excited_Electrons

Married Hottie: I bought the coffee, she brought the cream [FM]

“Sorry, your reddit content is a little bit too much for me:)”

I had invited someone who had posted on my local r4r page to check my Reddit content out and judge if I fit her criteria to meet up and have good ol’ fashioned sex. Alas, ’twasn’t to be. To cheer myself up, I was reminded of the saying “*Some days you’re the pigeon, some days the statue*”. Today, I was decidedly a statue.

A few days later, however, I see an orange envelope. A message from her!! She said she tried and liked the coffee shop I had alluded to in my earlier message as a meet-up spot.

“*Her post is wildly popular, why did she choose to write back again to me? Must investigate!*” ran my internal monologue. Not wasting any time, I offered to buy her my favorite drink from said shop. She didn’t say no.

Leading up to our meeting, I sussed out that she:

-a very hot new mom who happens to be breastfeeding

-would love to be deep-throated

-loves the idea of sex in a public place Read more »

Finding my unicorn: A nerd’s unexpected RAOBJ success [FM]

(Disclaimer: this story involves cheating. If that vexes you, write your concerns on the back of a $20 bill and I’ll tell you where to mail it so your concerns are addressed by the right authorities)

“Hey man, you free to head up to Reno next week? Our supplier is changing the T&C of our contract again and I want you to ensure we’re not being taken to the cleaners”

So starts this story, with a text from my boss. Normally, I wouldn’t have minded. The flight duration from the Bay Area to Reno is about two Frasier episodes long, 2.5 if we encounter a headwind. While there, I enjoy Noble Pie (recommend the Wrangler with a good IPA). Not to mention the quiet time away from a quarrelsome long-term relationship beginning to come apart at its seams.

This time however, I was annoyed. Week after week I’d been flying to Reno – I was on Season 7 of Frasier already, to give you an idea. I wanted nothing more than to stay put, to go to happy hours in SF with friends from business school after work, instead of nursing a lonesome pour in my hotel room as I pored over Excel models. I had bought 10 CrossFit classes off of Groupon months ago, and dammit I still needed to redeem 7 of them. So no, boss, I wasn’t free to head to Reno! Read more »