I (23) am obsessed with my ex(24) (M/F)

So we dated for over two years. And we really loved each other. But due to some different opinions about some life decisions we had to breakup. Thankfully we were in good terms.
I was a virgin before dating him. I just wasn’t ready for sex yet and he was fine with it. But we did all the other stuff. He’d treat me like his pet and slut but at the same time so caring. We both had one relationship before but it didn’t feel half as good as this. I never knew I was into it until I met him. And I’d do anything to satisfy him. We were obsessed with making out. He fingered me few times and I sucked his cock twice in restaurants. Making out in the stairways and elevator was a regular thing. He’d bend me in the elevator, sometimes even pull my pants down and spank me hard. And I couldn’t help but moan. It was so exciting! So right before breakup I decided I want him to be the first person to fuck me. So he did.
At first it hurt but slowly it started feeling really good. He was fucking me while choking and spanking my ass ( I really love when he spanks me). When he was close to cumming he stopped and started eating me out until I cummed. Then he continued fucking me again and released a huge load on my tits. It was amazing for both of us and I didn’t want to stop it. So we came to an agreement that we will fuck once in a while as long as we’re single.
Fast forward 7 months, we are no longer together, it still kinda saddens me but he fucks me once in a while. He texts me whenever he feels like doing it and I try to meet.