So when I was 17 years old (no this is not a story about me at 17), a teammate of mine introduced me to “BBC Porn.” At that point in my life I had maybe watched pornography a handful of times in my life so naturally I pretended to be disgusted and told her to stop. Of course, somehow or another, it got embedded in my head and over the course of the next few months I started exploring that genre of pornography myself. Soon (after my 18th birthday of course) I was reaching out to partners online to play out these fantasies of mine involving black men. Life continued that way for years. A chat about it here, an online roleplay about it there, all the while getting lost deeper and deeper in this fantasy.