Author: emi_chan_says

[FM] How this painfully shy virgin finally got fucked.

I’m taking a break from my Sophie saga as things are still developing there (in a good way); I want to give it some time before posting another update. For now, here’s the story of how I lost my virginity…

I was invisible in high school, which suited me fine because my conversations with people usually ended with me anxiously bumbling random words as I desperately searched for the nearest exit. My motto for those awkward teenage years was simple: *it was better to be thought a weirdo, than to speak up (or stand out), and remove all doubt.*

So I did my best to blend in and go unnoticed, and I was pretty good at it too, probably because I was average in every way: short, but not too short, with boring brown hair and moderately fashionable clothing that wasn’t too colorful or flashy (for some reason I really liked Taupe tones back then). I was the living embodiment of teenage camouflage, perfect for a shy and awkward teen. Read more »

[FF] Thanksgiving dinner at Sophie’s (PART 3)

This is the last part of my Thanksgiving update. I apologize that it’s been slow in coming, but there are good reasons (*Sophie-shaped reasons*) that have kept me distracted. I hope to post about those latest encounters soon, but for now, here’s the rest of what happened on Thanksgiving night. For those new to my Sophie saga, the following backstory will help:

​

1. [https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/qthjw2/i_f_was_shaken_to_my_emotional_core_by_my_friends/](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/qthjw2/i_f_was_shaken_to_my_emotional_core_by_my_friends/)
2. [https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/qvywbj/my_f_thoughts_of_a_friend_f_continue_to_overwhelm/](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/qvywbj/my_f_thoughts_of_a_friend_f_continue_to_overwhelm/)
3. [https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/r4a73g/ff_thanksgiving_dinner_at_sophies_part_1/](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/r4a73g/ff_thanksgiving_dinner_at_sophies_part_1/)
4. [https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/r6ktx0/ff_thanksgiving_dinner_at_sophies_part_2/](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/r6ktx0/ff_thanksgiving_dinner_at_sophies_part_2/)

I followed Katie into the dining room as she jabbered about some K-Drama on Netflix. I’d vaguely heard of it – some drawn out historical fiction about a gender-swapped monarchy, which she was now summarizing at a machine-gun pace, condensing several hours of plot into a single run-on sentence.

With Katie, it was usually a one-way conversation, which suited me fine because she was a charismatic chatterbox, so I just listened, assuming that she was oblivious to my occasional glances back towards the kitchen. Towards Sophie.

Never assume that a talkative person is imperceptive.

“So, when are y’all going to make it official?” Katie said, weaving the question seamlessly into her commentary on gender dynamics during the Joseon Dynasty. Read more »

[FF] Thanksgiving dinner at Sophie’s (PART 2)

I’ve read some amazing gonewild stories, from debaucherous tales of threesomes, foursomes, and multisomes (gotta love college life), to unapologetic and deliciously scandalous descriptions of exhibitionism, partner swapping, and cheating. I’ve discovered new things, like kinks I didn’t even know existed (and that I’d really like to try), and I’ve even learned a few things about myself — things that would’ve remained hidden, buried deep without the visceral and unfiltered sexual experiences shared by GWS writers.

Here’s my favorite discovery about myself: I love subtle sensuality. I know it’s not as spicy as the pounding and thrashing that happens in the throes of orgasmic pleasure, but *damn* it sure does get me hot and bothered. And all it takes is a simple look, or a gentle touch, or even a nuanced gesture for me to become an unstable bundle of energy. It’s those little innuendoes; they light me on fire and set me off like a wild firecracker. I mean, case in point: I recently agonized for FOUR weeks over a *glance* that lasted maybe a few seconds. *One glance.*

Which brings me to the next part of my Thanksgiving dinner at Sophie’s. Read more »

[FF] Thanksgiving dinner at Sophie’s (PART 1)

This happened on Thursday, when I was at my friend Sophie’s for Thanksgiving dinner. There’s some history between us — I’ve posted about it before, but the short version is that about four weeks back we exchanged glances at a Halloween party. I know, I know, that probably sounds inconsequential, and lame by gonewild standards. I keep telling myself the same thing: *It was just a look.* *It meant nothing. You’re probably overthinking it, Emi. Probably.*

But then a hopeful voice comes over me and provides a counterpoint: that it wasn’t *just* a glance, that for a brief moment, the universe stilled and everything faded until there was just us in that candlelit room. And then the memory comes to life again — the smell of homemade apple cider, her sapphire blue eyes meeting mine, the flavor of cinnamon and cloves on my lips as I wonder if hers taste the same, and a subtle feeling of connectedness, like we were exchanging secrets without words. Read more »

My [F] thoughts of a friend [F] continue to overwhelm me, and I try to take the next step.

I’m a long-time reader of GWS, but never had the courage (or experience, truthfully) to post any of my own stories. But recently, I finally had a real-life moment which I thought was worthy of telling, so I took a chance and posted it. I didn’t realize how exciting it would be, or how encouraging the community would be for me to write more (thank you for giving me some confidence).

For those hoping for an update on Sophie, I don’t have one, at least not yet. I *think* she’s invited me to Thanksgiving dinner at her place, but her recent messages have been vague, which is strange, because she isn’t usually shy about telling people exactly how she feels or what she wants. Since the Halloween party, our chats have been a little awkward, like when you first meet someone and don’t want to say anything weird or offensive.

So, yeah, no updates, which begs the question: what is this post about? Well, I had a dream. Big whoop, right? I can just hear the collective groans from readers hoping this was going to be as steamy as an anal orgy with six of my former college professors while tied up in a sauna next to a gimp and his medieval collection of torture implements. (BTW, I’m not judging. I would *totally* read that story.) But I digress. Read more »

I [F] was shaken to my emotional core by my friend’s [F] gaze.

I’ve always hated confrontations. Like, really, *really* hated them. I’m so sensitive to interpersonal tensions that I cringe whenever *strangers* get into arguments. I also have general social anxiety, problems with looking people in the eyes, that kind of thing. It’s not fun, but I’m working on it with a therapist. (BTW, I know this is a strange way to start a story, but this context is important.)

So, about a month back, I get a message from my friend Sophie about a Halloween party. My first response was to cringe. Parties turn me into an awkward and anxious mess. They’re full of people making eye contact, having conversations, you know, typical terrifying stuff. Sophie knew about my issues, but she was a good friend, and never gave up on inviting me despite me always turning her down.

But this time I responded with a yes, and she replied with big-surprised-eyed emojis, followed by lots of fireworks and hearts. A few weeks later, I was standing awkwardly at her door, reminding myself to be social and to avoid staring at the floor. Sophie’s roommate Katie answered dressed like player 067 from Squid Game. She looked at me for a while, almost like she didn’t recognize me. I kept thinking I’d overdone it with the dark eyeliner. Read more »