Saturday was going to be a day of days. The plan was to get shit done: clean my apartment, visit a tattoo artist, go swoon over some adorable cuties. Guess what I accomplished?!
Jack shit.
That morning I spent the first 5 hours masturbating (not joking). My sex drive has been ludicrous the last two months. I even stopped taking Zinc.
Pro Tip #1: If you have low sex drive, take a Zinc supplement (or eat oysters). Zinc is used in sperm production, will make you shoot fatter loads, and makes you horny.
I was glued to the depravity on my screen and the moans emanating from my laptop speakers. In between the lurid scenes and ejaculations, I’d browse Instagram for tattoo inspiration as I was starting to reconsider my original idea.
My buddy tried getting me out to Oktoberfest, but I decided to not go. I did not want to spend half my day and then my entire night drinking and talking to drunkies. There’s only so much durr hurr hurr conversation I can handle without wanting to have something more interesting to discuss.