I decided to write this up because the pinned one in r/virginityexchange made me push myself out of my comfort zone. I like to hit reddit random and I found the subreddit by accident. Really told me I wasn’t alone. I read a bunch of posts and posted a few myself but deleted them due to using the account to contact folks and didn’t want the ‘secret’ out. I am one of the most awkward people you’ve ever met and probably somewhere on the spectrum but was born 10 years too early to get any real help when it could have helped. Follow this up with some terrible sex ed I was terrified of sex and was told no sex before marriage and all that jazz when you have a conservative school board. College was confusing and I missed several opportunities. Now a decade out of college I feel gross and alone and literally given up the last few years. Cried myself to sleep on NYE with the promise I needed to make a better effort in 2018. Well 16 days in was well before I thought possible and I still have some dates this week. One simple rule to follow too; make HER say no. I am so worried about the rejection I refuse to put myself in danger. Well my back is sore two days later.