It’s [f]un when he’s [M]ean.

Sometimes I do wonder if he can read my desires right off my face. It’s fairly common for me to ask permission to touch myself during sex, but vanishingly rarely does he deny me. I’ve been bemoaning to myself the terrible difficulty of loving to be teased, used, and left hanging…when everyone just wants to make you come, over and over, as they watch. It’s a hard life.

This night, when I asked, he said, “No.” I shuddered through the sudden destruction of the orgasm that had been building as he fucked me, feeling almost cold with the absence of arousal. The back dropped out of my mind as much as the bottom dropped out of my stomach, all the desire I’d been feeling to come transmuted into a floaty submission. “Thank you,” I breathed, a stupid smile melting across my face.

“In fact,” he continued, pulling out of me and sitting down on the bed, “if you want me to fuck your pussy again, come over here and suck me off until you come.”

[F]ucked, choked, and ordered to come

I had asked him earlier that weekend for some bruises, so it wasn’t really a surprise when he came into the bedroom where I was reading and ordered me to strip. It wasn’t that surprising that he started not with a hand in my hair, forcing my head down on his cock (that would come later), but with two fingers in my cunt, curling roughly upwards like he could make them touch the thumb he had on my clit.

He likes to watch me come.

He was still clothed, kneeling up in front of the chair where my naked body slouched, my upturned ass just on the edge of the seat, the perfect height for him to fuck me. We’ve had a lot of great sex in this chair. I hoped that that was happening next, in the moments I had a thought to spare between coming and remembering to breathe. His thumb was hard on my clit, fast and painful, the pain twisting into the pleasure.