It’s a Friday night and my wife and girls are away at some London event they’ve been talking about for a few weeks. My wife, Sarah has left me with a note as I was deep in a phone conversation when they left. The note reads ‘Have a nice peaceful weekend to yourself darling! See you on Sunday evening xxx’.
Reading the note I grin to myself, opening Instagram on my phone to enjoy an evening of morally questionable ‘entertainment’. To put it bluntly, jerking it to internet girls. Scrolling through the reams of images and risque photos on my secret account, I notice a suggested subscription, Helga, a fitness influencer from Sweden. I press it lazily, not expecting much given her relatively normal profile photo. The sight that greets my eyes is a short and cute, positive, gym-bunny type girl with long brown hair to her chest and then I see it, a preposterous ass. This ass, my god.