My time in Alaska is coming to an end. I’ve married my Airman, he’s been promoted, we’re moving to Las Vegas for his new job, I’ve already go my first gangbang coordinated down in Nevada and my husband has even met the guys. Before I leave the 907 all my online crushes, past lovers, and potential new lovers- feeling the ticking of the clock as I near my departure date- have decided to come out of the woodwork and schedule their goodbye bangs. Time is fleeting, madness takes control. Into my inbox drops this delicious thick dick Bull from Fetlife who wants to come give it to me real good ASAP- and he’s willing to drive the 3 hours to my city just to do it! Who am I to say no? I’ve been eye-fucking him and his gorgeous wife for MONTHS online. I’m lucky enough to have added them to my Facebook as well, and they admired me from afar the same I had of them. They tell me they’ve read my blog, they enjoy my personality, and they find my sexual confidence very attractive. They’re so far out of my league I was just baffled how this was even a reality for me. This is one of those moments you wonder “what’s the catch?”
Author: DDfnord
At long last, my (32F) first [MFM]… with a surprise!
When we last saw our heroine her boyfriend was wrist deep in her lady-bits as she contemplated the meaning of her existence beyond experiencing pleasures…
My blog is done, I finished it out in November of last year- so this is just for you! I should be writing my book, but I digress.
To set the scene: I finally caved and put an ad on craigslist before the personals section went kaput. I was contacted by a guy I was able to research on Facebook, determined he as who he said he was, was good looking, and definitely not married. In the words of every one of my Tinder matches: Good enough! We set up our meet night for later that week- we live on JBER so my boyfriend would have to pick them up and bring them over to our house from the gate. That’s not weird, right? Boyfriend has zero interest in participating in my group activities with other men, but also has zero problem with helping facilitate my fantasy as best he can. While he’s out picking up my stunt cocks for the night, I shave my whole body, pour myself into fishnets, cinch up my corset so my tits are up to my chins, and apply a couple layers of clown makeup. I’m nervous. These are two men I’ve never met before, but who have fucked women together a few times so they are comfortable in close quarters.
[F]ort Bragg was good 2 [m]e
I drove through the night from Florida and got to NC just in time to take my friend to her very last chemo appointment in her breast cancer battle. She finished the treatment, we went home and took a very long nap together in bed. Breastfriends. Now that she’s done stealing the spotlight and faking cancer for attention, I can finally grow my hair back out and end my virtue signaling for pity sex campaign. Here is where I’d like to mention how COMPLETELY INSATIABLY HORNY I’d gotten in those weeks in Florida. Boyfriend and I only managed to have very quiet sex a handful of times while in Florida together, as we were staying with his entire family. No nookie-nookie for me, at least… not the way I like it. I tried arranging us some fun while we were there, but all the good ones I liked couldn’t host us/me so it was moot. The ones who could host inevitably came across too aggressively, too pushy, or threw red flags up. I ended up begging boyfriend to buy me a vibrator from a sex shop so I could masturbate in the car a few times a day and relieve some of the pressure. I lasted approximately 2 weeks without a vibrator. I can go months without sex with less panic and attitude.
Fist of July [MFM] [Exhibition] – Getting fisted by my airman, while using a Hitachi, in front of a random sailor.
July 4th. Happy treason day, colonials! Every year on this day I write a letter to the Queen of England and beg her to take back the colonies. So far, no response. Today I never got around to my letter writing, instead my boyfriend spent the better part of the day using me as a hand-warmer. We have discovered there’s next level orgasms to be had in the fisting game and all we had to add to the equation was my Hitachi magic wand. I’ve had sex on drugs, I know what the rest of the world is missing when they’ve never had a 5 hour bang sesh on LSD, or an 8 hour rolly-polly time on E. This is better than all of that, and accessible while sober. I never really feel the desire to get high and bang again; I’ve found Nirvana. Today in particular it was especially life changing.
[FM] Something New, Something Blew – I [31/F] finally made my new Airman [28/M] cum.
Buckle up, we have to catch up. We’re only at the halfway mark for 2017 and I’m already drinking for two (ever go so hard on a weekend that you’re fairly sure you gave yourself fetal alcohol syndrome?) So far this year I’ve broken a toe, started a new job, gotten a promotion at said job, ruptured an eardrum from an insane sinus infection turned ear infection, had a MRSA infection develop on my face after I performed minor surgery on an acne cyst, shaved my head to support my friend with cancer… and I’ve started dating. On my weight-loss journey I’m down 55lbs; I’ve been hovering in the 160’s for a hot minute. Who or what am I dating? Even the doc overseeing my over-zealous monthly STD testing voiced her curiosity. “I wondered what kind of man you’d actually date-date…” Stop me when you’re surprised: he’s younger than me, good-looking, in the Air Force, hopelessly devoted to me, and we’re on the same spectrum- autism. He met me after stalking my Snapchat for a while, which he picked up seeing me on a couple dating apps but didn’t muster up the courage to contact me until masturbating in the bushes for a few weeks. Clearly I have to marry him because his whole hand fit inside me and I will only be one man’s Muppet. Our first actual date was him accompanying me to get my head shaved for my friend, then he took my QBall ass out to one of the best restaurants in Alaska, and finished up with an ESCAPE ROOM! He mentioned several times I was his Make a Wish Foundation date. Swoon, motherfucker. It’s goin’ down, I’m yellin’ timberrrrrr.
[FM] Stretched and manually diddled for about 3 hours. Sodomy Sunday, Happy Keister!
What the fuck just happened. My cunt hurts.
Day started out pretty simple, shaved QuarterRican’s asshole for her so she could go on a date later, gave her a quick BJ/HJ 101 on a dildo, maybe did a snuffleupagus impression in her lady folds, sent her on her way. She and I are what happens when cisgender men wake up with vaginas one day, in case you’ve ever wondered. Decided somewhere in there I should randomly throw Adderall in my system, after she left I resigned to spending the day riding my knock off sybian and playing with myself various ways. I like days like today- everything is closed, everybody is doing things with their families, no work, no responsibility, no social obligations. Diddle myself all god damn day, days. Lightbulb, ever since Napsturbate I’ve wanted to continue the make-out assist while I ride my fuck machine- Tinder to the rescue, am I right? Everybody wants to watch a woman ride one in real life, and I’m the slutty Make-A-Wish Foundation. Swipe, swipe, swipe. Yesterday a cute dude my age hits me up send me his Sybian Star Trek fan fiction and I am over the moon he’s messaging me today too. *Note to self: he used the term fan fiction, find out what his fandom is and how deep the nerdy goes. Nerds are my jam, baby. Pro-tip: how someone talks to you online or in person, is pretty much how you can expect them to fuck you. Tone is as important as content. He’s funny, that’s the best sign. Funny dudes are better in bed- I cannot express this enough. How many times have I said this and it’s been true? Nearly every god damn time. I tell him I’m spending the day with bae (torn on naming the fuck machine Saddam Pussein, or Muammar Get-off-e… either way, needs a mustache,) in bed. He asks if I’d allow an audience, DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER! Of course, but you have to make-out with me; nobody get’s a free show. Throw him my phone number, he texts me, I send him my address. Now I need to hustle and clean up my house because he’s on the way right meow. Our online interaction was very, very brief but I had only considered we’d suck face while I had a big ol’ orgasm on my adult choo choo.
[FM] I (31F) pegged a beautiful young Airman (20M) after we took turns on my sybian
Napsturbate
God bless the motherfucking Air Force. I’d been killing my entire day off alternating between riding my knock-off Sybian and napping- a 20 year old Airman on Tinder hits me up and wants to spend some quality time with me. I told him I was busy napping. He asks to join, and I clarify I’m actually interested in said napping activity- after 30, those naps become increasingly valuable. I’m not saying I wouldn’t cum on his face when I woke up, but god damn it I was exhausted after another successful ride and I need a power-nap to go round 4, 5, 82- whatever. He says that’s fine, he’d like to nap with me. Yeah yeah, I know how this goes- you’re gonna crawl into my bed and those wandering hands are just going to oops their way into my naughty bits. I’ve already prepared my litany of No’s leading to the inevitable GTFO. Whatever, come test my patience adorable baby-faced man. Now that I’ve lost 50lbs I might just fuckin’ eat you– I’m hangry. The drive from base to my house is a solid 30 minutes so I dozed back off by the time I hear the knock on my door.
[FM] I climbed a giant war veteran and we’re planning a devil’s threeway
Ricky Bobby
About a week ago, this southern 6’5″ sequoia of a man texted me through a bad night I was processing- literally all night! He had immediate empathy being prior service, he’s gone through some shit… in and out of combat. The following Monday in the early hours, Charlie Sheen came over and I wrote about that night and the previous weekend leading up to it. Writing about it was cathartic, living it was peptic. I’ve been in touch with this lean, green, killing machine on and off regularly. I can dig him, he’s a good talker. My age-ish, weathered by life experiences, a gentle giant. He read through the entirety of my blog the night we first starting chatting- speed reader, god damn. Our schedules appear difficult to coordinate, so I’ll take what I can get as far as communication and seeing each other. He hits me up in the wee hours of Tuesday morning, and I’m in. I was open to having sexual relations with that wiry giant, mostly though I was excited to meet him in the flesh. He’s been drankin’ and I’m assuming that’s a regular gig for him- not my business, I don’t ask.
Awkward Dwarf [F] plowed by Giant [M]
Its one thing for me to get flirty-flirty with boys on apps while my vagina plays catch and release with all the fun ones, its another thing entirely when someone who’s known me for years tells me they want to fuck me. Suddenly I’m nervous, bashful, shy even? Fuck you, I’m Wonder Woman! Please don’t notice me blushing or avoiding eye contact, it will only embarrass me more. It becomes glaringly apparent I’ve been missing their cues and body language the entirety of knowing them. “How did you not know…” uh, I’m autistic? How about you use grown-up words and just out with it! I’m not great with subtlety. On apps it’s just assumed; if a man is contacting me, he wants in my bitch-wrinkle. So here I am, minding my own business on social media, and someone I’ve known for 7+ years says flirty things following some comment I made. Reasonable, rational me says “it’s funny because he’s not into you, don’t look too deeply into it,” but succubus me is screaming from the back row “message him your address and don’t let your dreams be dreams!” I did not pursue it. Even though I’m down 46 lbs, I just assumed since he’s known me so long and attraction has never been apparent… I’m not his type. He’s… uh… attractive. Gigantic, kinda scary looking, ink and scars. He’s my head of security if I ever get famous. Back up though, because how we met is great.
[FM] Firefighter fantasy in real life, with a big, pierced cock.
Water Horse
This story was the kind of night that if I hadn’t been the one getting awesomely laid, I wouldn’t believe the story from another person. No way. No fucking way did the married (swingers) fireman come over to my house in his gear, nothing underneath, and rock my god damn world all night long and then once more in the morning before leaving. Nope. I’m dreaming, pinch me. How is this my life? You know like 2 years ago I was happily monogamously married, then devastated by infidelity, then a divorcee with no sex drive, no joy, and a feeling of dejection. Here I am today wondering what on Earth I did so right in my life, or former lives, to have earned some of these experiences post divorce. I’M NOT WORTHY!