There is a lot of backstory to this because there was a lot of deep emotions involved for me that I think some of you might enjoy. But if you want to skip to start of the arousing part go to the second date section.
Prologue:
I first want to get this all cleared out first because I can foresee a lot of judgement towards me happening. I live very much in a Christian bubble. I consistently go to church, am active with the community, and most of my friends are from church. I didn’t have any intention to have sex before marriage, but it happened.
I have always struggled with pornography which I am pretty shameful about. Yes often I do feel like hypocrite and this experience does make me feel even more so. My closest friends don’t know and honestly I don’t think I’ll ever tell anyone. Take it as you will but my faith has always been once that I struggle and wrestle for; often times I think it would just be easier to stop pursuing but in the end I find the pursuit worthwhile.