I [m]ay have fingered a [f]risky older woman the first time with met. In a booth at Panera bread.

We met online. She was an early-forties professional and I was an early-thirties wannabe. Our banter turned quickly into a coffee date, but I had some work things come up and couldn’t meet until later on the evening we had planned.

By the time 10pm rolled around she was still interested in meeting and I was tired but intrigued…

“Coffee still?”

“Sure why not”

“I think the only place still open is Panera..”

“That works”

I showed up first and found a table by the window so I could watch her walk in. She pulled up, hopped out, and was prettier than I had imagined. She was wearing tight jeans, a short flowy shirt that hinted at a cute bellybutton, and white converse chucks. Not at all what I was expecting, in the best way. She practically skipped into Panera with a big smile on her face, and I immediately found myself getting hard. And wet.

I got up, gave her a big hug, and we grabbed a small coffee to share. After chatting for 30 minutes or so we both had big smiles on our faces, were super into each other, and turned on.

I [M] ended up in the wrong pool when visiting a gorgeous [f]riend

Met this super cute Asian girl online and we immediately hit it off. She lived an hour south, so just far enough but not too far.

After a couple hours of sex-charged banter we were sending each other our worlds. This went on and on for a few weeks without slowing down, and she mentioned house-sitting a massive place with a pool, hot tub, sauna, and all kinds of horizontal surfaces. And made sure I knew.

When the day rolled around, she gave me directions and I drove down. She gave me the address, said to meet her behind the house, and that she would be waiting. So I showed up, or so I thought. I pulled in the driveway, let her know I was there, walked behind the house completely hard, and sat down on the stairs at the shallow end of the pool. I thought she said she would be waiting but didn’t think much about it when she wasn’t. Until two college-aged dudes came out and yelled “HEY! WHAT THE FUCK?!!”.

Shit.

I jumped out of the pool, ran back to my car (which I parked on the road, fortunately), and checked my phone. She said she was still waiting and asked where I was. I looked over to where I came from. The neighbors.