[F] My sub/dom relationship

I’ve not really talked a whole lot about this but this seems like a safe place. Anyway, my first ever relationship was a sub/dom relationship and at the time I had no idea what sub/dom even meant. This guy was a lot older than me and literally introduced me to everything related to sex since I had never even had sex before. He was also a person who was close to my family which made things very complicated lol. The first time I ever had sex with him I was handcuffed and even from the beginning I liked the feeling of being controlled. Looking back on it I wonder if maybe I thought that’s how all sex and relationships worked since I had never been in one before. Over the span of two years he introduced me to lots of things like butt plugs and nipple clamps and big dildos and I really loved all of it (not always at first though lol). He also had a fetish for voyeurism in the sense that he liked having me show off (mostly my boobs through sheer shirts) in public lol. That took a while for me to get comfortable with but I kinda started to love it and is probably why I work as a cocktail server in a strip club today lol. I guess I’m writing this because it’s been a year since that relationship ended and I’ve had one other relationship since then but it has been really hard for me to be satisfied in a normal relationship. Is it weird to want to be in a sub/dom type of relationship again? Has anyone else been able to have a happy normal relationship after something like that? If anyone has any advice I’d really appreciate it. Thank you for listening and being respectful :)