First some background about me and the “subordinate” in question:
I am a manager and have been for a number of years. However, I rolled into the job (since there was no other way “up” in the organisation) and it never was my dream to be a manager. My personality is pretty much the opposite of what I have to do professionally, I’d rather listen to people about their problems and help them fix them, instead of delegating to others to fix problems for me or the company. Every morning before coming into the office, I have to turn a switch in my head and force myself into a mode of telling people what to do. Or even to fire people, which is the absolute worst! Outside of work I keep much more to myself and sexually I consider myself rather submissive.
Nearly a year ago, we had hired a contractor to lead a project for about 4 months. I remember him vividly because he would regularly overstep the boundaries of what his job allowed him to do. More than once he had “stolen” employees from other projects and have them work for him. So then I had to step in and make sure everybody got along again. He was also very anti-authoritive, especially with me, which I think was because I’m a woman. Even though I am 10 years older than him and I am generally well-respected within the company. In short, our work relationship wasn’t very good.