I remember graduating from college and feeling nostalgic about leaving my safe space… I was embarking on a new journey, and I was going to miss how easy it was to sleep with sloppy college girls. From that point on, I would be dealing with adults, people who were smarter and would see through the bullshit. In college, I was fishing with dynamite, and now I might actually have to learn how to cast a line. That all changed when I cashed my first six figure commission check. I was introduced to an entirely new genre of pussy, the high class ho. Women who were in their late 20’s early 30’s, armed with fake tits and a lady suite, they worked hard but kept their eye on the prize. I noticed that a lot of them actually came from money, but they were looking for a pawn. A stand in to do the heavy lifting while they focused on yoga and the launch of their online lifestyle brand…. I couldn’t blame them though, if I looked that way, I would have done the same exact thing.
Author: AZtallguy87
Facebook. [M]ountain [F]ucking. And A Sex Tape.
SYNOPSIS: A bitter battle was raging between my ex and me, and the girl from work was caught in the crossfire… I may have been in the dog house, but somehow I managed to engage in spontaneous intercourse while hiking… My ex gets payback with an inappropriate picture, but two can play at that game…
PART FIVE – The Final Installment.
I would typically never volunteer to go hiking after dark. I am terrified of rattlesnakes, and the mountain is a breeding ground for those fuckers. However, I was currently in the dog house with girl from work and I needed a safe, non-threatening activity. I had spent most of the day explaining myself and after hours of conversation, I had convinced girl from work to hang out with me… There was one condition, absolutely no sex… You see, my ex-girlfriend had decided to write a nice posting on my Facebook wall, informing the entire world that she had an article of my clothing in her possession, and she wanted to return it… My ex-girlfriend is a real asshole… The post was malicious, intended to drive a wedge between me and the girl from work. It was not an ideal situation, but it wasn’t catastrophic. The ex-girlfriend had been in town for well over two months, and there were plenty of instances where she could have obtained a t-shirt from me… SORRY SWEETY… You’re going to have to do better than that… Unbeknownst to me this was just the tip of the iceberg… By the end of this story, my ex-girlfriend will have completely destroyed me.
2 girls. 1 night. [M]y Ex + Girl [F]rom Work.
SYNOPSIS: This story picks up where my last one left off. The girl from work is unaware of the intense hookup my ex and I had the prior evening. Both will end up in my bed before the night ends.
I strolled into work at 5:05pm, the dim lighting of the upscale restaurant helped to hide my unshaven face and the bags that were forming under my eyes. The two other people who were tending bar with me had already arrived for their shift. I was hung over but in decent spirits. After all, there was no photo evidence of my mistakes from the night before. I might actually be able to weasel my way out of the love triangle I had created. I should have never touched me ex, it was stupid, but hopefully the girl from work would never find out… I spoke with my fellow bartenders, and informed them of my rough night and asked if I could be cut first. They didn’t contest. The summer was winding down and they were bound to make good money on this busy Friday night. The girl that I was falling for would be arriving for her shift in a few hours and I needed to run damage control.
Bottle Service + [M]y Ex = Public [F]ellatio and More.
SYNOPSIS: I tried to avoid my ex all night, but the combination of alcohol, and the lure of a backdoor that had strictly been off limits was too much for me to handle. A long but good read…
I was over dressed for a Thursday night, but I was young and didn’t think twice about blacking out on a weekday. It was my buddies 22nd birthday, and I was heading to his girlfriend’s house for the pregame. She had planned an amazing night, filled with a party bus, sorority girls, and bottle service at the most exclusive club in town. I sat nervously in my roommate’s car, as we got closer and closer to our destination. I didn’t know what the night had in store for me, but I did know a few things… I knew that copious amounts of alcohol would be consumed. I knew that I was falling for someone and I wanted desperately to preserve that relationship. I also knew that I was a sucker for a blonde.
The first time we [m]ade love, the second time we [f]ucked.
It was 12:30am and the bar was fucking lit. A seemingly endless stream of young, overly inebriated humans continued to flow into one of the most popular bars on campus. We had just finished another round of $60 dollar shots, and I was in the fucking zone. I was riding a wave of endorphins, the source of which was directly under my arm, regaining her composure from the straight patron shot. I kissed her cheek, while I removed my arm and asked the bartender to close out my tab. I wanted to ensure a quick exit… I knew what the future held. She grabbed my hand and we pushed our way through the sea of sweaty half naked woman, none of which required a second glance. Everything I needed was holding my hand. I would have followed her off of a fucking cliff.
I swear… the dog stole your thong [MF]
My old roommate and I were texting the other day and he reminded me of a funny story from my college days. A great story about a woman I loved, our first time together, and a lost article of clothing. It’s long but good. I swear.
It was the summer of my senior year, I was freshly graduated and ready to conquer the world. A family friend was going out of town and offered to pay me $400 to house sit for them. They had a neurotic dog so someone needed to physically stay at the house. They had an awesome house with a large pool and jacuzzi, so I figured I could make the best of my time there. I had been talking to a girl from work for a few weeks but we hadn’t slept together yet. I figured this would be an opportunity to get some alone time, just her and I. No roommates. No bars/clubs. No bullshit.