My (39F) new old friend (44M), now with benefits [MF]

It has been a long time since I’ve posted here on Reddit. In the past, I shared stories about my out of control libido and my struggle with lack of interpersonal connection during the pandemic. It has been a frustrating time- getting my hopes up when I meet someone, only to be disappointed and feeling stupid for getting excited in the first place.

Near the start of this year, an old friend (I’ll call him A, 44M) and I started spending more time together. We have known each other for about 20 years, somewhat peripherally, but always had good feelings towards one another. He had previously expressed interest in being more than friends, but I was hesitant. I didn’t see him that way and was afraid to start hooking up and possibly lead him on or hurt him. When we started taking the occasional masked walk together, our conversations grew deeper very quickly. We both have crazy high sex drives, and were both struggling without having safe places to explore that energy. Relating to people is hard, and trying to meet new partners and develop some intimacy during the pandemic was nearly impossible. It was nice to be able to confide in and support one another in such hard times.

I’m (39[F]) Crawling Out of My Skin and Am Acting Out Sexually

Like many of you, I’ve been feeling stir crazy during the pandemic, but I’m too scared of covid to fuck around. I tried a few masked and distanced dates to meet people while being safe, but I wasn’t able to fully relax and trust the other person enough to feel comfortable getting physically close. And that’s not fun for anyone. I’ve been honest with people as I try to navigate these boundaries, but it has made finding and developing a solid, genuine connection that much more difficult. In the meantime, I want to be touched so badly, I’m crawling out of my skin. And the lack of sexual engagement is making me need and want attention more than I’d have ever admitted in the past. I like to be self-assured and confident yet humble, without looking to men for validation. But now that being safe means being alone, I’m finding myself acting out in ways I never would have in the past. I want to be wanted. But I also want to be satisfied. I’m having trouble figuring out how to fulfill both conditions.

The first time I(38F) came from sexting [MF]

First Time I (38F) Came from Sexting

PreCovid, I went to see a show with a group of old friends when I saw R (35M) in the crowd. I had matched with him on Tinder, but we hadn’t started messaging yet. Normally I wouldn’t make the first move, but something about being out with friends I’d known for a long time made me feel more confident. I told my friend I was gonna go for it, she gave me a thumbs up, and I made my way over to him.

The music was loud and the club was dark. Gristly, deep vocals with pounding drums and bass. Not the kind of show one goes to when trying to talk to people. He was standing in front of the stage, nodding his head rhythmically and occasionally taking a sip of his beer. He had long hair, a Fu Manchu style mustache, and a barrel chest. I sidled up next to him, but he didn’t look my way. I’m only 5’4″ and he’s about 6’2″. He barely noticed me, so I started dancing to the beat and threw myself into him sideways “accidentally.” He looked my way, gave me a nod of recognition and held up his beer as if to say “Cheers!” His eyes twinkled, then turned into crescents as he smiled at me. He was cute, and I was in trouble. He mouthed “Nice to meet you” and I smiled and yelled “Same!” The set ended and the lights came on. There was a ringing in my ears from the speakers, and R was several drinks in already so the two of us together weren’t communicating too well. We stammered some awkward words to one another when my friend yelled that our Uber had arrived and that was that.