Let us go back to a time, pre COVID. To a time when meeting a person didn’t involve staying 6 feet apart with face masks, to a time where if you wanted casual sex it didn’t mean just doggy or reverse cowgirl or even weirder moves. Let us have a holly jolly Christmas (and if you don’t observe Christmas that’s okay too).
I’m at home on leave from the military and like everyone always says it sucks going home. Well it sucks for those of us that left in the first place because we have broken homes and don’t realize that leave would be better spent going on an actual vacation and not reliving past trauma *oh wait you aren’t a therapist……* It’s Christmas night, and after a rousing game of guilt tripping and shitty feelings being passed around white elephant style I retire to the spare bedroom because I’ve had enough. I don’t have any hookups in my hometown and the dating apps are bare because….well it’s Christmas and people aren’t as broken as me. So I do what any good person does: post to craigslist and wait for bots to spam my email before retiring to stroking myself off and going to bed. I make sure to include not a dick pic and elaborate in my posting to make sure the bots really appreciate my well thought out ad.