**Background: Feel free to skip to —— for the erotica**
TW: CNC
I’m never sure if I’m attractive or not. Like most people, I go to the gym about 10 times per year, most of them in January. When I look in the mirror I figure I am average to establish a baseline and just judge everyone as either more or less attractive than me. Maybe that’s poor self-esteem talking. I have had a healthy amount of sexual relationships with beautiful women and men over the last decade, and none of them have seemed disappointed with my looks. Maybe bisexual dudes just pull really well. Maybe everyone in this city is horny and I’m just extroverted enough to help people make connections.
Either way, dating apps make me nervous. It’s not that I don’t enjoy flirting or building connections with people. I find it thrilling to get to know someone and earn their trust and respect. My problem is how quickly you can be ghosted even when you think things are going well. Obviously, people are free to look for what they want, and if that isn’t me, I wish them luck, but I just don’t like disappointing people.