Author: AllTheBoysIveFckedB4

I had a sociopathic friend and his sex life was fucking fascinating [FM]

I had this friend in college who I am 99% certain was/is a sociopath. Now, do I know this for sure? Fuck no. I’m not a therapist. However, I grew up with a sociopath and I can see the signs pretty early. They’re actually quite fascinating to watch and he was super, super smart.

I suppose it should be worth noting why I never fucked this dude: I had absolutely no desire. He was sexy as hell, but he scared me and treated women like play things.

He hit on me once. I was visiting my boyfriend at his frat house. After my boyfriend passed out drunk I ended up hanging out with sociopath dude in their common area.

“You know why you’re sexy V?” He asked me.

I raised an eyebrow without looking up from my books. “Enlighten me.”

“It’s the fact that you’re hot enough to be a housewife but you’re still going to law school. It’s sexy.”

“I feel like there’s some kind of misogyny baked in there.”

“Sorry. I’m drunk a d distracted. It’s hard because I want to fuck you so bad.” Read more »

He actually fucked me out of my porn habit [MF]

So yeah… I had a problem for a while. I am a diagnosed sex addict who deals with compulsions, and porn was a little too prominent my life for a while.

*I’m just going to be upfront: I don’t watch porn anymore. I had a weird brush with the industry when I was a young attorney and it cured me for good. I am ALL about supporting sex workers, but that industry is exploitative. I digress…*

What’s worse is that I kind of watched “weird” porn. I get weird in bed so this is natural to some extent, but once when I put on porn with an ex boyfriend and he got kind of freaked out.

That’s the day I learned I watched intense porn.

So I dated a dude for a while who I got rough with and we once got on this subject. I was SHOCKED to learn he hated porn. This man was sexual AF to the point of compulsion.

*Ok… He was also HELLA hot which I think made this easier for him. He got sex pretty much whenever he wanted it… which arguably wasn’t great for his addiction.* Read more »

I once convinced a dude to miss an international flight to fuck me [FM]

I can truly do amazing things with my ass.

I met a dude in a foreign country and he basically moved in with me. Idk man, we fucked A LOT back then and got creative. He wouldn’t let me come without permission and I basically handed over my underwear every time we were out.

The only thing was, we only had two weeks together. He was kind of on vacation and supposed to fly back.

He didn’t fly back.

The day before he was about to leave, he made me take my underwear off while we were out at dinner. He put them in my mouth as we were walking home and then made me play “fetch” where he’d throw them across the room and make me crawl on all fours to retrieve them.

*You know, just a normal Friday.*

He pulled his dick out and started stroking it as I did it and made some comment about how he was going to miss me on my knees.

“Want me too suck it then?” I asked.

“I didn’t give you permission to talk… but also yes.” Read more »

He realized he loved Jenny Sanders after fucking me and I was weirdly ok with that [MF]

Jenny Sanders.

I had to give her a fake name because he said it so much.

*I’ve put this off for so long. I usually try to change so many details my story would be unrecognizable to the party in question. My partner in this definitely would recognize himself. So would his wife.*

*Sorry y’all, it’s so sweet though!*

I met a guy at my law school who looked like Superman fucked James Dean. We were in the same “outline” group and he once told me my color coding was sexy. I was in my slay period and obnoxiously confident so I asked him out.

I think our date was unremarkable as I don’t remember too much. I know he was way too into fitness.

*I realize I have written about how I run and do yoga, but I’m not exactly a “gym person” and eat like shit when my husband isn’t around to feed me.*

He also was WAY too into school. I hate all lawyers who lawyer a little too lawyerly, and got kind of annoyed at how he had to say the class rank of every classmate who came up in conversation. Read more »

A fight about vegetables somehow turned into me sucking my husband off [MF]

Like all households, our grocery bill has been uncomfortably high lately. This was always a touchy subject with us as I do not cook and hate grocery shopping. My husband loves cooking and doesn’t seem to mind it, but we don’t have a car so we’re naturally limited by what he can carry… Plus he insists on buying way too much healthy food.

My solution? I am always down to order groceries and pay the premium.

*We make enough money, but my husband is cheap.*

So we got into a fight over this the other day because for the tenth time I suggested we just order fucking groceries. He got angry and said he could handle it and with the prices going up he was not about to pay even more. I pointed out that we always run out of food and he never buys things I don’t have to cook.

“We have ten packs of macaroni and cheese, Viola! Ten!” He finally yelled.

“Macaroni and cheese is still cooking!”

“What? It’s like 4 steps!” Read more »

We got fucking sloppy in Atlantic City [FM]

Idk man, shit got weird.

I dated a dude for a while and we got rough. We weren’t quite “together” and didn’t have strong feelings but we were certainly fucking, and the sex was hella good. For the sake of this story, I’m calling him my boyfriend.

*His wife reads this blog which is… interesting to say the least.*

We were long distance and it had been a minute so we randomly decided to meet up in Atlantic City because it was halfway between where we were both living. His friends came with him and my very innocent sister joined… They were in for a ride.

I texted him what I should wear and he told me to dress like I was his “cheap whore.” I don’t want to brag but I dressed slutty as fuck. So much so that my sister took one look at me and was like, “Viola, you can’t wear that!”

*Anytime I horrify my sister I know I’m doing something right. She’s a gem.*

“Do I look like a slut?” I asked.

“Yes!”

“Excellent.” Read more »

My husband is a petty dom [FM]

*My husband is the ultimate soft dom and it catches me off guard. He’s usually a very sweet lover but occasionally he pops off and I love it.*

My husband and I are both in the midst of marathon training. This has presented certain challenges in bed, but ultimately I count sex as cross training so that’s fun motivation.

However, we are often sore. Destroying your body every day presents challenges so we’re basically always fake fighting over his power massager.

The other day I grabbed it from him and told him he had been hogging it. He rolled his eyes and told me to use my damn vibrator because he had just run nine miles.

I told him I would indeed be using my vibrator then and that meant he would not be getting any later as I was about to take care of things myself.

“You want this?” He finally said holding it up and smiling.

“Yes! It’s stronger.”

“Let’s see how strong it is.” Read more »

Breakups have benefits [FM]

*Oh yes, the dude who I hate fucked for months and then have spent the past year hate writing about. I adore all of my exes except this asshole. He can go to hell.*

*But DAMN if our breakup stories are not just some of the best. We were such a shitshow always, but this was one of our lowest moments… but it’s oh so deliciously horrible.*

It took my ex and I like 6 months to break up because we couldn’t stop fucking each other. Even after we started seeing other people, we would sometimes just collide and fuck.

One day I was on my way to a tinder date when he called me and asked if I wanted to go to dinner.

“I’m on my way to a date,” I responded.

“Cancel it.”

“I’ll just come meet you after.”

“Viola, just come to fucking dinner with me.”

We went to dinner.

The moment I showed up we were swept to a private room where he proceeded to order for us both, even though he knew I fucking hated that. He just liked throwing money around because it made him feel like his dick was bigger than it was. Read more »

My friend used to let me get myself off in his bed [MF]

I was coming off of a semi abusive relationship and was kind of a mess. I kept fucking my ex because it was like fucking crack. The sex was good and I couldn’t shake him.

Luckily, I had good friends… some REALLY went above and beyond.

Once I ALMOST fucked my ex, but instead fled my house and ended up outside my dear friend’s apartment unannounced. His roommate let me in and I just kind of crawled into my friend’s bed.

“It’s a little late, friend,” he groaned as he woke up and wrapped his arms around me.

*We had made out a few times but nothing serious.*

“I thought I’d finally let you introduce me to Firefly. If it’s not too late, of course.”

“It’s never too late for the best show ever made… V, why are you in my bed?”

I sighed. “My ex came over and I was going to fuck him if I stayed so I decided to come here.”

“I don’t get you. He’s an ass.”

“I’m a sex addict with intimacy issues so I tend to recycle exes because they feel safe.” Read more »

I blew my husband after eating jalapeños and received mixed reviews [FM]

*I was going to get off of my “husband kick” but I tweeted about this first so whatever. This story is about my husband.*

My husband and I recently went out for drinks at our favorite Mexican restaurant.

*This next part is 100%, absolutely true.*

I ordered my usual margarita and he INSISTED I get this new jalapeño margarita. He had tried it and told me it was the best drink he’s had in a long time. I ordered one and it was indeed amazing so naturally I ordered two. They were very, very spicy though. They had infused the tequila with peppers and had jalapeños in the actual drink.

When we got home, I didn’t really think much of it. When he kissed me he commented that my lips were spicy but it’s not like my mouth was on fire or anything. It was just lingering a bit.

We started fooling around because I gave him a tight hug I thought would be uncomfortable and he was like, “awwwwww.” When I told him I was trying to hurt him he was like, “try harder.” I put all my weight against him and he just giggled and called me weak. Read more »