Author: AllTheBoysIveFckedB4

When he finally tied me up [FM]

*This one gets rough. Read at your own risk and understand that we were two very experienced and consenting adults who had discussed boundaries many times.*

The roughest partner I ever had in bed ironically wasn’t really into bondage or restraints. He got off on me enthusiastically doing exactly what he said, and thought ropes “ruined the willingness.”

I got pretty good at doing what he said though. If he told me to bend over a table, he didn’t have to tie me up to make me behave. I’d do exactly what he said without hesitation.

He loved spanking, but he didn’t like whips or paddles either. He liked flesh on flesh and… well… played with his food before he ate it. He never just spanked me. He’d fondle me for minutes at a time and sometimes made me beg to be punished.

He was actually VERY into making me beg for pain. He figured out quickly that I was into it and loved how I would not only ask for it, but grew desperate when I didn’t get it. He REALLY loved making me desperate. Read more »

The worst dude I ever hooked up with [FM]

I’ve written about some shameful acts, but I’ve avoided this dude specifically. Someone asked if I had written about every consistent sexual partner of my past.

All but one…

*I am not proud of this. I even thought I’d skipping this story because it’s a little bit of weird of an introduction. Not only are y’all about to see what an ass he is, but also how anal I was about STD checks. I thought about changing the reason I kicked him out, but, fuck it, let’s get real.*

I met this fucker playing trivia. Low and behold he was a fellow lawyer and we immediately fell into a state of mutual hatred. He was arrogant, sexist, self-righteous, and annoying. He once told me he was worried about my biological clock. I wasn’t even 25.

The best part was that he was faking a southern accent. He had lived there for four years during college and magically picked up a stronger drawl then me, even though I had lived in that region all my life. I called him out on it, and he got pissed… Although magically his accent went away after that. Read more »

Gnossienne No. 1 [FF]

I wish I could explain us.

One time we came home. She was drunk, but I wasn’t. She poured me a drink as she got all the furniture out of the way. She put on “Gnossienne no. 1” on her record player and started dancing.

*M had danced for years. She actually got a scholarship to THE art school for dancing but the head of her potential program straight up told her she needed a breast reduction.*

*Plus, they told her to lose 10 pounds. She was a fucking size 4 and 5’6’… Assholes*

Anyway, when she poured me a drink and threw me down on the couch, she cleared the living room and put on “Gnossienne No. 1.” Then she started dancing.

*If you’re not already listening to it, put it on now.*

We didn’t have power that night so it was almost pitch black except the moonlight.

It was the sexiest dance I’ve ever seen. She laid on her back and put her legs up like they were telling a story. When she turned on her belly and crawled towards me, I almost moved away. Read more »

The gayest straight relationship I’ve ever been in [FF]

Bro… idk. This one gets weird. It’s not quite a funny story or particularly hot. You’re welcome to unpack this mess with me though…

It started out pretty normal. We were just really close best friends who loved each other. She was like… my favorite person in the whole world and I wanted to be around her all the time. And I thought she was beautiful and really cool.

And she said the same about me…

The truth is we were broke as fuck which led to us walking up to *that* line. We had a two bedroom but it didn’t make sense because I slept in her bed every night. We downgraded to a studio and sold my bed.

*We bought alcohol and drugs with the bed money.*

It was only natural for us to change in front of each other. Our closets just kind of melded into one, and we got ready together every morning and before we went out. Nudity just became a natural thing we stopped even acknowledging.

Then we started showering together… To save water. That’s literally what we said. Why would we shower apart when we could use half the water? Read more »

I should have probably known I wasn’t straight [FF]

What am I? Fuck, idk. I usually call myself bi because it was my first identifier, but who knows?

I’m not straight. That’s for fucking sure. I don’t really discriminate.

I find entertaining when folks try to ask me which way I lean. I don’t. There is no rhyme or reason to my attraction, but I know it when I see it.

In a world that suppresses bisexuality and fetishizes lesbians, it was very confusing in the 2000s. I just kind of thought everyone enjoyed making out with all genders. Plus, who would want to watch porn with men? Surely girl-on-girl was natural.

The depths of my denial shouldn’t have extended to the black hole that it did, but if there was ever a “red” flag it was this story.

I had this very, very close best friend throughout high school. We’re actually still close, but not the way we were back then. You didn’t see me without her for years.

Upon reflection, we were both always queer AF, but I just thought it was normal “HAHA SEX EXISTS!” kind of shit. Plus, it’s not like anything happened between us. We were just really close. Read more »

I once took a law school exam with cum inside of me [FM]

I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but there are two types of edging: Intentional and unintentional. This is the story about the unintentional kind where you have so much sexual tension between you two that you simmer in frustration for days until you both want to die.

Once upon a time, I went to law school with a man who was boring on paper. He was a future tax attorney who was kind of a hypochondriac and an undeniable introvert. He was super hot though and unexpectedly great in bed so we hooked up on and off throughout law school.

He was never really my boyfriend because we weren’t super compatible, but I was addicted to that dick and he was easily to seduce.

Also, I made bad decisions during finals. Every exam cycle I would end up fucking someone I probably shouldn’t have… Although I can’t say I regret this one.

So once we were studying together in the library with my roommate, “R.” R had remarkably bad timing and was adorably clueless. When R went to ask our professor a question, my ex and I started going over some practice exam when a sandwich magically appeared in front of me. Read more »

My girlfriend could out crazy me [FF]

My ex girlfriend and I never really called what we did BDSM, even though the dynamic of our relationship was pretty clear. I probably would have done just about anything she wanted during sex, but her bark was worse than her bite.

She’d often talk about how she wanted to use me and humiliate me, but the truth is she was pretty sweet in bed. She got a little weird with toys, loved spanking, and certainly took over when we were in that space, but most of her “dom” work was forcing me to look at her while I orgasmed or compliment my own body. She sat on my face a lot, but like, in a loving way.

*M is much sweeter than she lets on.*

However, in certain ways, M was actually the best dom I ever had. I’ve had folks understand my body really well and be attentive when we got physical, but she understood my mind on another level. She paid attention and had a level of emotional intelligence that served as an impenetrable wall from my usual manipulations. Read more »

Sometimes nice guys finish first… Or at least get to finish [FM]

Oh this sweet man. I still adore him.

So it’s kind of a long story why, but I’m barred in two places (as an attorney). They don’t have reciprocity so I had to travel out of state to take the second bar.

*Damn y’all! Can I write a sexy opening or what? Are you rock hard yet?*

So I was horribly broke at the time. I had had exactly four big girl paychecks then and was deeply in depth from my summer of studying. So I stayed at an AirBNB where I rented a room in a house with five dudes.

The first two days I completely ignored them. They were kind of annoying and I assumed younger than me (turns out they were all older). They did A LOT of cocaine and made a couple of comments about me when they thought I was out of earshot.

After I finished my exam, I honestly didn’t know anyone in the state so when they asked if I wanted a drink with them I accepted.

You learn a lot about people when they assume you’re not as smart as them. Read more »

My girlfriend edged me because she was angry I wasn’t angry [FF]

So a fun fact about me so that I don’t experience anger very often. I’m very Type B (*a rarity for a lawyer… Which is probably why I hate most lawyers*), so anger is just not an emotion on my radar unless shit gets really bad. Sometimes I get upset out of a sense of justice or bummed out, but I usually internally process instead of lash out. Sometimes I even yell out of social obligation, but that’s more strategic than impulsive.

All of this is to say, I can be a difficult person to date. It sounds great on paper but in the words of my ex boyfriend, “How the fuck am I supposed to know if something is bothering you?”

So, my ex girlfriend was mad me for at least 80% of our relationship, and it drove her up the damn wall that I did not reciprocate this emotion.

We once got into a fight because I had the audacity to say hi to someone on my campus because, according to her, he “clearly had a thing” for me.

*M could be a tad dramatic.* Read more »

When my ex-boyfriend and I found out we were both queer [FM]

My ex never identified as bi. Or pan. Or anything for that matter. In the same way he was widely apolitical, he just never felt the need to label himself on the spectrum.

He fucked a lot of dudes though.

We slept together pretty early and then it became constant. Our sex was pretty fucking epic.

Neither of us were in a place where we could date which took a lot pressure off of the situation. We had the profound privilege of total honesty which led to a lot of deep conversations about sex.

We covered a lot in those first few days, but there was one area where we hadn’t made it to. This was in a different time when queer sex was simply not as accepted and still kind of taboo so I was pretty careful with how I approached the subject.

Onetime he was talking about this guy friend who he was close with. I have no idea how I knew, but as he was telling this story I just had a very strong suspicion that guy had sucked K’s dick. They had spent months together at some base and he talked a lot about how they “bonded.” Read more »