The other day, someone on my OF page asked me why I dom, and, specifically, why a woman would do such a thing. The inquisitive man went on to explain that he, as a person with a penis, was very excited by the idea of dominating because they would, naturally, penetrate their subject during the session and achieve an orgasm and, as a woman, he didn’t really see how pegging a guy with a strap-on would be as fulfilling. This was one of those epiphany moments for me… I don’t think most people understand, so I’m going to explain, and this is going to be fun!
Ladies, how many times have you had mediocre sex with a guy where he puts you in 1 position when you’re barely ready, then cums before you have a chance to get any pleasure, forget an orgasm? I’d say that’s a pretty common occurrence for a woman having heterosexual sex. It comes down to what we all describe as “being good in bed”. Now, for a woman, being “good” requires, mostly, just enthusiastic participation; put the dick in your mouth like you want it there, hit a few positions, and make some noise. The guy is pretty much guaranteed to orgasm, unlike you. For a guy to be good in bed, he needs to do a myriad of actions that either culminates in your orgasm, or at minimum, leads you to believe a subsequent roll in the hay is worth your time. At a glance, what I just wrote would possibly make someone believe men had it rough… except, as we gals know, a significant contingency of the boys don’t bother bringing their ‘A’ game and you get to mostly be an apparatus to facilitate their orgasm. Sigh.
Now, gals… we’ve all wondered what it would be like to have a dick. Some abstractly, and others more literally. To have a dick, on many levels is to be in the drivers seat during sex. I mean, sure, I can hop on top and reverse cow-girl like a crazy a screaming banshee, but I can’t stop Mr Boglioli from ejaculating after 90 seconds when I snap my 23 year old ass back and forth, chasing my own pleasure.
Now, a while ago, I began revelling in the pleasures of sleeping with women and that was a very different experience. Even playing ground and, even on the first time hooking up, my orgasm was guaranteed. In fact, when I was 20, I slept with a gorgeous woman in her mid 30s who basically retrained my entire masturbation routine – but that’s a post for another day. Still… even thought that was hot and amazing, I still want the dick and always will.
So, full circle back to domination and what do I get out of it… I get to drive. I am in charge. And it scratches that hungry little itch that every woman has when they wish they could just completely take over the situation, like when you’re watching someone perform some perfunctory tasks and you want to shove them aside and recertify their poor work – except this is sex. So… when you’re a woman, and you dom, you get 100% of the control. One time I dommed a guy and while I was pegging him, with my lovehoney strap-on, I came before the little piggy could… and I decided I wanted the toy out of me… so I withdrew. My sub looked at me incredulously, seeing how sex was over because I came, yet he had not, and, I replied to him with the phrase women have been hearing since the dawn of time, “oh, you didn’t cum? We’ll do you next time.”