26 [NB] When I was 19[M] I lost my virginity, unprotected, to a complete stranger, in his office.

So sophomore year of college, I was your average shitty loud virgin white boy. I know, hard to believe considering my shitty loud slutty androgynous self now. Suspend your disbelief for the story:

So I’m out to literally no one, not even myself yet really, but I’m soooo horny. I’m looking everywhere. Tinder, Ok Cupid, the fuckin yik yak app. No luck. I’m jerking off basically daily when my roommate’s not in the room (and pretty often even when he was). I *need* to lose my virginity, and I’m running out of options.

So I try craigslist.

So many old men, just searching for college girls who want a free place to live. Unnecessary dick pics, terrible grammar and spelling, the whole shebang. At this point, I’m just tryna find cute college girls who want a fwb, like any rational person would be. So I’m always surprised, and kinda weirded out when these guys respond to my ads. Like, I’m all for shooting your shot, but I’m posting as a straight dude. Like what are the chances Ima respond, come on.