My therapist told me to write a story in detail about my affair a few months ago in hopes to balance my perspective on myself ( instead of just beating myself up 24/7). I’ve been feeling guilty about what I did so she thought it would help me understand better why I did it and not just because i’m dumb (my self narrative). She was hoping that talking positive about it would stop me from being stuck shaming myself and allow us to process what actually I am feeling and not just feeling how I think I SHOULD feel. I wrote it out but got a little carried away and think it is better shared here. Here is what I wrote:
I sat at my desk, exhausted after a long day of work. I stared blankly at my computer screen, feeling overwhelmed and stressed. The client data had to be redone due to a policy change, and I disagreed with my boss about it. Being a perfectionist, I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving any task incomplete or incorrect.