_obviousdppthroway, Author at NSFW story

[MF] Sneaky poolside adventure with an out of town visitor

As the sun set, I walked through the luxurious lobby of an upscale hotel to the specified room, reciting the least awkward greetings I could think of given the circumstances. While it certainly wasn’t going to be “Spanky’s Cum ‘N Go dick delivery, we’ve got your meat ready to beat,” I made peace with the fact that whatever words left my mouth were going to have roughly the same effect and settled on a simple hello.

Moments after a polite knock, a bubbly, curvy Fillipina we’ll call “Angie” opened the door and welcomed me in. As we exchanged introductory pleasantries, I looked around her spacious suite. Sitting down on the large, but not all that comfortable couch (hotel couches are made by people with iron butts and spring-loaded knees, it’s just a fact), I noticed that the TV wasn’t playing porn, in a refreshing change of pace.

“So, in town for a conference?” I asked.

“Yeah, and thought I’d see what kind of trouble I could get into after listening to presentations all day,” she smiled.

“And I looked like trouble to you? Seriously?”

“Ok, well, I just thought you were kind of cute.” Read more »

[MF] How I accidentally became a porn star

Reposting this because I somehow managed to delete the original on the mobile app.

—

Sometimes life gives you foreshadowing. In my case, it came when a very drunk fellow at a college party insisted that I was a porn star and he felt that he had to call me out on it because that was just such a mind-blowing accomplishment to him, he had to lead a toast in my honor. His enthusiasm made perverse sense, seeing as horny 18 year old guys tend to think porn is the ultimate job, although it was disconcerting that he was so interested in my involvement.

Reader, I had never been in porn flick by that point, and all my friends were extremely confused as to when I found the time to bare it all on camera, well aware that I was busy with a full class schedule and several freelance tech projects. Aware that arguing with a drunk person was a lost cause, I did as the Madagascar penguins instructed: just smiled and waved, albeit with an eye roll and head shake.

“What the hell is he talking about?” asked one of my friends. Read more »

[MF] How I accidentally became an amateur porn star

Sometimes life gives you foreshadowing. In my case, it came when a very drunk fellow at a college party insisted that I was a porn star and he felt that he had to call me out on it because that was just such a mind-blowing accomplishment to him, he had to lead a toast in my honor. His enthusiasm made perverse sense, seeing as horny 18 year old guys tend to think porn is the ultimate job, although it was disconcerting that he was so interested in my involvement.

Reader, I had never been in porn flick by that point, and all my friends were extremely confused as to when I found the time to bare it all on camera, well aware that I was busy with a full class schedule and several freelance tech projects. Aware that arguing with a drunk person was a lost cause, I did as the Madagascar penguins instructed: just smiled and waved, albeit with an eye roll and head shake.

“What the hell is he talking about?” asked one of my friends.

“No idea,” I grunted out of one side of my mouth while raising my shot glass. Read more »

[MFM] Putting on a show with an inked biker MILF while her husband watches

In a [previous story](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/vd77f9/mf_how_to_have_sex_with_a_beautiful_stranger_with/), I noted that a particularly nerve-wracking encounter made me think about refusing spur of the moment internet hookups. Well, about that…

It didn’t, and on one warm summer night, my car pulled into the driveway of a big brick split level. The neighborhood was quiet, but not a menacing sort of quiet, a sort that H.P. Lovecraft would describe as concealing a presence rather than indicating an absence. It just seemed like a calm, quiet place in general, and considering how many cops lived here, that tranquility was highly unlikely to be interrupted.

All of this was good news for me as I was ready to knock on the door of a biker couple who contacted me an hour before. Despite having a decidedly mixed experience over the prior six months with a couple (which is its own surreal story), they convinced me that I should at least meet them. They looked very rough, with a complete package of tattoos and studded leather, but were very polite and friendly, like the vast majority of bikers I’ve ever encountered. Read more »

[MF] How to have sex with a beautiful stranger. With a catch…

Were I to grab myself from the past, the one about to answer that call, I would’ve proceeded to call him an idiot whose libido roared over basic self-preservation. If ever I lived up to the male stereotype of having two heads but lacking the blood flow to run both at the same time, that night was it.

The whole thing was shady from the get-go, but something in me just wanted to believe, like Mulder with UFOs. So when “Tina” posted in a public chat room if there were any men in my then age range without any plans for the night, I reflexively replied. Fifteen minutes later, she messaged me privately, asking to call me.

“Hi there,” an anxious female voice greeted me when I picked up.

“Hi,” I greeted her back, “so what are you looking for?”

“Here’s what I really wanted to try. Can you get a hotel for the night?”

“I suppose so, but…”

“Perfect,” she excitedly cut me off, “so I would meet you there and we’ll have sex.”

“Hold on, hold on. I can get a hotel, that’s not a problem. But can we maybe exchange some pictures or…?” Read more »

[MF] The Siege of Bedroom Number 2

I saw it the moment the door shut behind me. Laying on one of the lower stairs was a loaded Nerf gun. The apartment was eerily silent. Quietly lowering my bag, I kicked off my shoes and let my coat drop to the floor with them. Untucking my shirt with one hand and grabbing the gun with the other, I covered as many steps as I could as quickly as possible and dove into the open master bedroom, eyeing the slightly ajar door to the office.

Lining up my shot, I fired a round into the opening and immediately ducked out of the way as a round came back in response. Perfect. Enemy location confirmed.

Grabbing the round, I ducked out of the master bedroom and loaded. Taking a position on the other side of the guest bedroom I reached out with me left and pushed on the door just enough for it to creak. Another round promptly rang out overhead as I fired low. The hard ding and quick footsteps told me I missed and hit the desk. At least I got another dart. Read more »

[MF] The first (and most confusing) time someone got me to climax

Sex in and of itself is a mechanical act. Our drive for it resides in the same part of our brains that control our appetite, thermal regulation, and basic emotions. It’s the context that makes it either boring, traumatic, meaningless and pleasurable fun, or a world-shattering experience that leaves you nothing short of stunned and mute. This story is about how two of those outcomes melded together for me once upon a time.

The night wasn’t dark and stormy, but it was certainly gloomy and chilly. Branches were already barren and snow flurries lazily drifted in the sky, still deciding whether to fall or not. I was still trying to warm up as I entered the hotel room and locked the door. She was already waiting for me, reclining on the giant, soft headboard of the king sized bed in a skirt and knit cardigan.

“Hey!” I greeted her, taking off my coat. “You know, the last time I stayed at one of this chain’s hotels was like a year ago but they’re trying to pretend like they’ve been waiting for me to come back all this time on the card insert.” Read more »

[MF] When two FWBs end up visiting you on the same night

Typically, in pop culture, a bachelor pad is supposed to be an absolute pigsty. After moving out on my own, a number of those close to me were seriously concerned that I’d effectively destroy my first apartment, which riled me up to no end. I was almost fanatical about cleanliness. Every week, the whole place got a scrub down and the only times my clothes were in a pile was in the laundry basket near the washing machine or during spontaneous sex. Surprise guests would’ve been treated to a place that may not have been literally spotless but damn close to it.

This was, of course, a big positive when it came to dating. No need to excuse the mess, there isn’t one. Sit down, make yourself comfortable on the soft, deep couch with a nice drink while cuddling up to me. Hell, once upon a time, I was the very grateful beneficiary of an enthusiastic, nearly hour long oral session just because I had a tidy place for us to go to after she didn’t want a date to end yet. But that’s not what the story I wanted to tell. No, this story is about two friends who came to see me on cleaning day. Read more »

how to destroy a relationship by not knowing you’re in one [mf] [long]

I don’t remember my first kiss. Well, not really. What I do remember is drinking everyone under the table at my friend’s apartment, then continuing to demonstratively drink until my liver said “нет, с меня хватит” as the party wound down thanks to collective drunken collapses. Fuzzily, I recall a small framed girl with long brown hair grabbing my face with both her hands and landing a long, surprisingly coordinated kiss on my lips followed by “fuck, he’s so out of it, isn’t he?” to someone else.

In a similar setup, I was once retrieving a bottle of booze I brought to a party to share it at an impromptu cognac tasting being organized on a deck. To do this, I had to awkwardly slide past a guy making out with the hostess and her friend. As I completed the maneuver and tried to make my way back, the hostess’ friend ensnared me in her arms, turned me around, and her lips collided with mine until she pushed me away into the hostess’ arms so she could do the same. Read more »