For the uninitiated, British football fans follow their teams near and far. It’s quite literally planes, trains and automobiles across the country, Europe and beyond. One of the most exciting parts of following your team is when the pan-European competitions come up. The Champions League and the Europa League. These competitions allow for mini holidays and what usually follows is several days of booze, sex and debauchery. The team you will face, and of course the city you will be visiting is entirely down to UEFA, the football governing body’s randomised draw procedure. You could end up with a glamour tie in Milan or Madrid, or you might find yourself in the arsehole of Europe. Sometimes even the occasional warzone. And they say football isn’t about life or death… it’s more important.
To pass the time on these long and arduous trips across the continent, some of the lads in the group have come up with a juvenile game. The Shagging World Cup. The rules are simple. One point every time you have sex with someone from a different country. No hookers, no escorts, no strippers, you can’t buy yourself a World Cup here, this isn’t Qatar. And the 4 nations of the UK don’t count. You always get one who takes games too far and plays as if their life depends on it. In our group that would be our mate Dave, who seems to be doing record numbers despite never leaving his hometown outside of a football trip. I mean the guy claims to have a point for Burkina Faso!