I started writing my second ever “adult” story tonight, I think it’s going ok. Let me know what you think :)
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You retrieve a glass of water from the kitchen, set it down on the coffee table in front of me and sit down, all without looking at me once. Staring straight ahead, you run a casual hand along the length of the crevice between our bodies.
“Mmmm. I love leather.” Your eyes are searing embers when you say these words and turn to look at me.
My heart is pounding. I can smell your perfume: deep, languid, sickly sweet. The kind of scent that might be considered almost indecent in any other context. You don’t move for a long time, just look at me without speaking, without touching me. From my eyes, you glide lazily over my nose and mouth, my neck, my tits, my stomach, my thighs. You raise a hand to your mouth in a contemplative gesture, as though trying to decide whether a painting on the wall is crooked or not. You’re not stalling. You’re enjoying every second. You’re dragging it out, raking me over the coals. You’re taunting me, daring me to make a throwaway comment, to break the exquisite tension you’ve been busy constructing since we got here. Finally, mercifully, you lean in and kiss me and all of a sudden I’m drunk, though I haven’t had a drink in months. You rest one hand on the nape of my neck, one hand on the soft hollow at the base of my skull. You kiss me slowly, teasingly, just your lips moving against mine, then you bite down, hard, on my lower lip, and it makes me whimper. You run the tip of your silver tongue across your own bite marks, soothing them, and then let your tongue slip between my lips.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/cgpkth/a_preview_ff_femdom
Just a bit of feedback: your use of descriptors is very vivid, making it an immersive read but I would reconsider the use of “sickly sweet” to describe her perfume. That’s usual connotation is unpleasant, not sexy at all.
Keep it up!
I particularly like the very last line.