Fucking [M]y best friend (Part 2)

“I don’t fucking know what you want from me.”

“I never said I want anything other than to talk Sarah. If we keep avoiding it nothing is going to get better.”

“Yea I fucking know that, but what else can we do? My gyno prescribed that pill, I took it, it did nothing. Sex fucking hurts and I can’t orgasm, what the fuck do you want?”

“I’m not attacking you! I know you tried and I appreciate that but that doesn’t mean we don’t still have a problem.”

​

It went on and on. The ugly parts of sex are, really, really, fucking ugly.

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Sarah couldn’t orgasm. She never had before me, and in our time together we were never successful at getting her there. Sometimes she would get close, but never fully across the finish line. She read all the blogs. We tried everything to make it happen for her. It was frustrating. We were young. I didn’t truly understand how it made her feel. I was always trying to be optimistic and I always wanted to try something new. I bought toys, candles, lotions, everything under the sun that is supposed to make sex better. It didn’t matter. Nothing I did, nothing *we did,* was working.

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The full spectrum of a relationship is a lot to handle at that age. You aren’t mature enough for the bad, but you are mature enough to want the good. With Sarah and I, the good was going away and I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to chase it.

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Halloween night. That was all I could think about in the back of my mind during every frustrated discussion with Sarah. Ella. Cumming on my hand. My best friend cumming on my fucking hand. She reminded me what it feels like to get someone off. The power of making someone feel pure bliss, having them be completely vulnerable at their most intimate moment, trusting you to experience that rawness with them; it was intoxicating.

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I was always patient with Sarah, none of this was her fault, and to her credit, she stayed optimistic for a long time. We felt like we were making progress for a while, but eventually, that feeling began to wither. Halloween night came, and reminded us that our relationship was missing something crucial. It was something that we couldn’t talk ourselves out of, but rather something primal, akin to hearing the crescendo of an orchestra versus seeing the music written on paper. I thought Halloween would help us turn a new page, but instead, it was a snap to reality, reminding us of what we, maybe, once had.

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And then Sarah said it. With a single phrase she both doomed our relationship, and set the stage in creating a monster.

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“I think we should be open.”

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I couldn’t believe my ears. Open? Sleep with other people? Was I even okay with that? Like cheating?

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“Well, you should be open.”

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What?! Me? What the actual fuck was going on? Sarah, was above all things, stubborn. She saw a future with me. She didn’t want to lose me, and I know she could feel my mind wandering to places it shouldn’t have been. To a sophomore boy in college you’d think what she said would be the greatest thing in the world, but for some reason I felt sick to my stomach. Even now, as I write these words, I remember the pit in my gut at this moment. I felt like I had truly backed this girl I supposedly loved into a corner. What was I to do? How was I supposed to navigate the feelings of a young woman when the physical desires in myself were pulling so hard at the emotional. I felt like I was being split in two as she stood there, afraid to make eye contact with me, but doing her best to fill the room with the same bossy bravado she usually exhibited. She had all but lost interest in sex, but not in me. This was a hail Mary for her. She was stalling time, trying to keep me in this relationship no matter what. This can’t be healthy. I can’t do this to her. Can I?

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“I think that would be a good idea, Sarah.”

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“I love you.”

Was she going to cry?

“I, love you too.”

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Fuck.

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I met Ella at the coffee shop at the bottom of our campus. We sat for a while and caught up with our usual nonsense. She joked that her classes were killing her and that she could use “my hand right about now.” Sexual teasing and joking around with each other had become something Sarah, Ella, myself, and my roommate all became comfortable with almost immediately after Halloween. When she slept over, Sarah no longer bothered to wait until he left the room to get changed. It wasn’t sexual, although I’m sure he enjoyed the view. My roommate would always openly ask for the room if he wanted to bring Ella or another girl up there, but that now extended to masturbation as well. When Sarah was there she’d flash him a boob or two before we left the room, which definitely was sexual. He was a good looking guy and spent a lot of his time working out so part of me thought she wanted to fool around with him, especially after Halloween. The only time Sarah ever seemed like a sexual being anymore was when she was teasing him. Hell, part of me hoped she wanted to fool around with him.

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This time I didn’t laugh off Ella’s remark like I usually did. I used it as an opportunity to bring up what Sarah said earlier. Ella knew everything. She loved us both and wanted us to succeed just as much as I was trying to convince myself I did.

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We took a long walk back through campus. We spoke seriously about my situation but when we were together there were always jokes. I felt relieved to have her listen to me and sympathize with how fucking confused I was. We stopped on a small hill right outside our freshman dorm. We sat down in the grass and I asked her if she remembered during freshman year when her and I had walked back from a party and stopped to sit here because she thought she was going to throw up. Of course she did, we got eaten alive by mosquitoes that night and it was the first time I ever saw her cry. She laughed and said that thinking back on it, she can’t even remember why she was crying. I told her that I hoped I could one day look back on this situation the same way.

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“I wonder who lives in our “triple” this year.” She said.

“Yea, I wonder.”

“…”

“…”

“I know you have a lot going on right now, but maybe this is for the best. I hate to say it, but you guys just seem so sad all the time. You’re both normally happy people, so I don’t know.. maybe?”

“I don’t know either. She said something else by the way. After I said I loved her too, she told me she didn’t want anyone to know. I said that’s crazy, how am I supposed to hide this from my friends, or anyone really, it’s a small school, I mean fuck.”

“Damn… t’s a shame we all don’t still live together, you and I could have just fucked.”

“Yea, that would have been a pretty easy solution.”

“Would you?.. Like actually fuck me?” She sort of perked up. Apparently very interested in my answer.

“I mean you came on my hand Ella, you’re gorgeous, and I know where you’ve been, so, yea, no way would I fuck you.”

“Oh shut up! You know what I meant.. like I don’t know, do you think it would be weird?”

“Honestly… I kinda don’t.”

“Yea me neither.”

“Ok, so, what are you doing Saturday?”

“What?”

“My roommate is going to be away all day at her soccer game. Come over then and we’ll do the horizontal monster mash or whatever the kids are calling it these days.”

“Are you serious?”

“I don’t know, I guess I am.”

​

Fuck. Fucking Ella? Like really fucking Ella? We joked around a lot, but really fucking her?

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Saturday morning I wasn’t sure what the fuck I was doing. I woke up next to Sarah who sat up in bed and greeted my roommate who was already up at his desk. She got down and gave me a kiss and said she was going to be gone most of the day so she’d see me later. She pulled the loose t shirt of mine she was wearing over her head and tossed it back onto the bed leaving her in nothing but her thong. She turned her head to my roommate who had turned his chair to face her while holding a few singles he had on his desk.

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“We getting a show today or what?”

“Jesus Brian, you could at least pretend not to look.” What she said did not match her actions in the slightest as she turned her entire body to face him, giving him a perfect view of her completely exposed chest.

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After what Ella had said to me the other day, I was not thinking clearly about anything. That said, even if I was, I doubt I would have handled this particular morning any differently. I started beat boxing a cheesy club tune to which Sarah threw her hands up and exclaimed, “Fine!”

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She had been a competition dancer for years, so her “comical” little strut around the room as she occasionally bent over to flip her hair back up again, was hardly uncoordinated. She made her way over to Brian and turned around to face me. She bent over a little and wiggled her butt in his face while grabbing her boobs to squeeze them together and sarcastically lick her lips. Seeing Brian wide eyed staring at her ass while she did this little tease for us, made me feel happy. He had no idea of the reality nor the issues Sarah and I were battling, and through his eyes, I could see what he saw. He must have thought I hit the jackpot with this girl. He knew so much about her, and clearly had seen plenty. Honestly the two of them were extremely good friends, but in his mind he had to fill in one very important blank space. Unbeknownst to him, that blank space was no illusion, nor was he out of the loop. At this point, him and I were on similar grounds in terms of our sexual relationship with Sarah.

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After one last little spin, Sarah strung her thumbs through the sides of her panties and shimmied her whole body down towards the ground as she teased taking them off. I remember hoping she would take them off. I remember hoping that as soon as they dropped to the ground Brian and I would pounce on her like lions on a gazelle. I remember hoping that the two of us would fuck her back into loving sex.

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Her underwear stayed on. She stood up, shimmied her boobs in Brian’s face one last time, then grabbed a towel to go take a quick shower.

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“Man, she is something else isn’t she?”

“Yea, she is.” I replied.

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I went downstairs and sat down with some of my buddies. We had some breakfast and I joked around like normal. Then one of them asked if I wanted to go to the basketball court and shoot around in a bit. I said I was going to work on a group project. I lied? I hang out with Ella all the time and they all know that. Why did I lie to them about seeing her today? I mean I knew why, but how do you admit to yourself that for the past 48 hours all you’ve been thinking about is fucking your best friend?

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I sent her a text and said I was outside. It was weird to be standing there in broad daylight with a bottle of Fireball as I had done so many times prior. I felt guilty, but excited. I felt scared, but happy. I felt confused.. but jesus christ did I feel horny.

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She opened the door and as soon as I saw her, I knew this wasn’t a joke. She had a loose white crop top on that barely covered her black bra, with a pair of low riding jeans that showed so much of her midsection. I held up the bottle of Fireball I brought and wiggled it like an idiot not realizing I was doing jazz hands with my other arm until she sarcastically copied my movement. She invited me in and we went up to her room. I had made this walk so many times before, but this was the last time I would ever do it without knowing what I know now.

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We got upstairs and started watching comedy specials and drinking shots of whiskey on her floor. We joked around and playfully teased each other, but we never said a word about what we both were wondering might be about to happen.

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At some point, the stand up videos were getting less funny. We were joking less, talking less. I looked over and saw her sitting cross legged on the floor with her arms behind her and chest pushed out as she stretched her shoulders. I could see the outline of a pair of black panties that matched her bra peaking over the top of her jeans. She stopped watching the screen and looked over at me. Her polite smile dropped into something more serious. The room got quieter, the sounds from the laptop going cold as the air somehow got thicker. We were staring into each others eyes, neither of us blinking or breaking the gaze. My breath felt like I was pushing up a stack of weights resting on my chest. My arms felt numb and the hair on my neck was stood straight up. My whole body felt present as I lost touch with my mind. I reached forward and put my hands on her knees. I pulled her closer to me as she sat up straight and let her bottom lip hang a little lower, opening her mouth ever so slightly. I leaned in and put my face closer to hers. I could hear her swallow before she nodded her head, yes.

​

I lost track of how long we spent on the floor kissing each other. So much fucking passion. He top came flying off. She pulled my t shirt above my head, somehow without pulling her tongue out of my mouth. I pulled back for a moment to kiss her neck and undo her bra. My fingers were twitching, barely responding to the signals my brain was trying to send them. I struggled for a moment and I heard Ella speak again for the first time in what felt like forever.

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“First time?”

​

I stopped and looked at her. I suddenly heard the sounds from the laptop that must have still been playing this whole time. I was back in the room. I tilted my head with an expression that playfully said “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

​

We both burst out laughing and as we came back to our senses, I smiled at her, reached around with one hand, and in a single swift motion, unclasped her bra.

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“Not exactly.” I finally responded.

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That was it. My nerves were settled. This was no longer a big moment, but something I felt like I had done a thousand times. I wasn’t having a big dramatic Hollywood “sex with my best friend who is actually the love of my life” moment. She wasn’t the love of my life. I did and still do love her, but here we were, about to fuck, half naked in front of each other and I realized that I was just hanging out with my best friend. Except my best friend was super hot and I was about to stick my dick in her.

​

“This isn’t weird at all.”

“No it’s really not. Shouldn’t it be a little weird?” I responded.

“Well, I don’t know, I guess not.. Now.. I am going to take my pants off, bend over my bed, and you are going to fuck me hard. How’s that sound?”

“Aye Aye cap’n.”

​

This wasn’t normal sex. This was sex with my best friend. I wasn’t worried about what I looked like naked. I wasn’t worried about having some serious emotional connection or anything at all really. It was just so unbelievably fun. Finally, after almost two years of wondering, I had my hand on her back and the head of my cock against her pussy.

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No more wondering. This was going to happen. Even though it was our first time together, the two of us were moving around the room, talking, touching, as if we were life long dance partners.

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“You can spank me and be rough and stuff, I really like that. Ooh I also like to be sort of degraded verbally, so feel free to call me a whore or slut and all that jazz.”

“That’s fun. I will keep that in mind, uh, hoe.”

“Nice.”

“Thanks.”

​

Before I even pushed myself inside her, I could feel how wet she was. I was sliding the length of my shaft against her lips and just enjoying seeing her wiggle her hips as I did. She said she liked it rough so sure, let’s give this a shot. I wound up and smacked her ass, leaving a nice distinct hand print on her right cheek. She didn’t stop wiggling her hips, but instead started letting out soft moans. Nice indeed. This is going to be fun.

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In one motion I plunged the length of my cock deep into her. I took two big handfuls of her ass as I began to pound away. Ella slapped her hands down on her bed and started gripping hard at her bed cover. After a few minutes she turned to look at me.

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“Can we switch positions? I want to watch my best friend fuck my tight little pussy.”

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Hearing her say that really got me going, so I grabbed her by the back of her hair and pulled her up towards me. She was almost completely stood up as I continued to fuck her from behind. I reached around with my left hand to feel a swollen pulsating clitoris while I slid two of my fingers from my right hand into the side of her mouth. She bit down on them as I fish hooked the side of her mouth and spoke into her ear that I wish I had known what a slutty little whore she was. I told her I was going to use her body and make her beg me to let her cum. I told her that… Oh. What is she doing?

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Ella held up her index finger as she squeezed me tight and almost lost her balance as her legs trembled underneath her. She got control of herself and hopped up onto the bed, laid on her back and spread her legs.

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“So much for begging for it. Really good job so far though. Now get that dick up here and in me.”

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We couldn’t stop kissing each other, smiling, laughing, fucking. I felt so comfortable with her as I ran my hands up and down her body. I pinched at her nipples, bit her neck, massaged her clit. I did everything I wanted to and didn’t think about it for a second. Our bodies were in perfect sync. She held up two fingers. Then she was riding me. Then she was against the wall. She held up three fingers. We continued fucking, not a care in the world for at least an hour. (Thank god for whiskey). Ella came on my dick over and over. She lost track and would just hold up her middle fingers at this point. We finally slowed down and sat up against her headboard.

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She was laying in my lap with my arms wrapped around her. We joked and talked about how much fun this is and how surprisingly easy and natural it feels. She told me that her legs were turning into jello and it was about time she gave me what I “paid her for.” She hopped off the bed and dropped to her knees on the floor. She held her arms up with her elbows tucked in like a dog as she looked up at me, closed her eyes, and stuck her tongue out of a big open mouth smile.

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I didn’t exactly need a written invitation and I hopped down myself.

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“You want me to.. uh.. wipe it off first?”

“Definitely not, get over here and lemme taste it.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Also, full disclosure, I am not good at blowjobs. So we are going to have to practice, because I think I’m pretty good at the other stuff and I want to give good head.”

“Yea, I think I can do that.”

​

Ella was right, she was definitely better at the other stuff. But weirdly enough, it felt like she was asking me for help with a paper. Nevertheless, the absolute joy and happiness she was exuding as she sucked my cock was more than enough to make up for it. She couldn’t get that far down the shaft, but she would often pull it out of her mouth, continuing to jerk me off, and slap the side of her face with it while telling me how nice of a dick I had. After a while she could tell I was getting close. She put her head back to work and went as deep as she could. I gave her a tap on the shoulder to let her know I was going to finish and she pulled my dick out, began jerking me again, but pointed the head of my penis right at her face. I unloaded on her as she smiled a huge joyous grin and squinted her eyes.

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I really fucking needed that.

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Ella grabbed a towel and wiped herself off as I fell back onto the bed. She jumped up and laid down next to me. We turned towards each other, kissed, and then started laughing our asses off.

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“We are going to need a system.” she finally said.

“Yea I guess you’re right… how about, you send me the emoji for like, the flag of Japan or something if you want another piece of THIS.”

“Why the flag of Japan?”

“I don’t know, why not? It’s not like you could send me a text saying hey come fuck me! Someone might see it, and it’s not like I’d be embarrassed, I mean look at you, you know, it would..”

“No no, totally. I get it, this would be a nightmare to explain for either of us. But sure fine, we will use the flag of Japan to signify its booty time.”

“Cool, wanna watch a movie before your roommate gets back? We still have some time.”

“Sure! Pulp Fiction?”

“Yea!”

“Cool, I’m gonna put some pants on, but I’ll leave my top off so you can play with my tits.”

“Wow, that’s a really great sentence and I am just so glad you said it.”

“Well yea, boobs are fun, I play with them all the time. I don’t mind if you do too. Are you doing anything later tonight? I was thinking of going out if you and Sarah want to join?”

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Fuck… Sarah. But I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t cheat on her. Right?

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(End of part 2)

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I know that there are some parts to this story that are not entirely “hot” per say, but I want to tell the story in its entirety. Ella meant a lot to me, as did Sarah. The events that have been covered in parts 1 and 2, as well as the ones that will be covered in parts 3 and 4, have shaped the person I am today for better or worse. My mental health is important to me, and where I am personally, professionally, and romantically, is actually all good for the first time in a long time. Nevertheless, this story is one that I need to finally, truly face. Some of the decisions I made as well as the persona I adapted during this time, both haunt and explain certain demons I struggle with to this day. Writing this story once and for all, facing who I was, accepting who I have become, is something I need to do.

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Hopefully this will all make sense once the story reaches its end.

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Thank you for reading, and thank you for your kind words about my writing in part 1, it really means a lot.

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Parts 3 and 4 will be out either this weekend or early next week! I have also been story boarding in my head a little and may need to split part 3 up into two separate parts, but maybe not. Either way, thank you all again for reading!

Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/c6m1y1/fucking_my_best_friend_part_2