I cross my legs,
Nervous,
Excited,
Tired of being complacent,
So proud of myself,
Having stood up to loneliness,
Shame,
There’s no shame in desire,
But is it a mistake?
Probably.
It’s mostly fear,
Fear of stagnation,
Fear of growing old,
Dying,
Having lived a life I couldn’t enjoy,
A life I tell myself I never wanted,
Just because I couldn’t bear it,
Knowing that I never knew how to live,
Though that didn’t stop me from trying,
Was it a mistake?
Probably.
I’m out of place,
All of this is too extravagant for me,
These panties are uncomfortable,
This bra doesn’t suit me,
My lover has cold eyes,
And a stranger’s touch,
I’m terrified of him,
And so infatuated,
Addicted to his nature,
It’s so unlike mine,
I just want him to want me,
Even though there’ll never be an us,
Is he a mistake?
Probably.
It’s funny,
How something so enjoyable,
Could be so disappointing,
Like something is missing,
Something I’ve had before,
Something I’ve left behind,
But my lover is here,
I can forget loneliness,
Even for a night,
A mistake?
Yeah, probably.
Source: reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/byon8h/cold_feet