Last night I found out truly what a nasty little slut I am, and how sex crazed I can get when someone knows just how to push all the right buttons. I knew it before, but damn, I *really* know now.
I had sex with my ex.
Yes, the boy I was with for 3 years and broke up with because he’s been a lazy asshole for the last couple of months. The guy I’ve been pretty depressed and heartbroken over. He’s been taking it hard, too.
I tried to stay away from him, to distance myself. I don’t want to get his hopes up or anything like that but I also want to be there to support him, so I allowed him to come over yesterday just so we could play some video games and watch youtube. It escalated into honestly the best, hottest sex I’ve ever had…and he didn’t even penetrate me (*yet*).
For the first couple of hours we were mostly just chilling, talking about his depression and stuff occasionally, and watching videos to distract us. At first we were sitting next to each other but I eventually moved over to the other couch because I wanted to lie down a little. He came over. He was on his knees, with his leather jacket on..
I had this habit as his girlfriend of buttoning the top of his jacket, where his collarbones are. I didn’t even think about it, I feel like my arms just moved on their own. We were so close to each other.
He inched closer to me, slowly and cautiously, and lightly kissed me. I didn’t pull away this time. Earlier this week he’s been trying to hug me and caress me and I’ve been pulling back. But not this time. I let him.
When he pulled away I just..let my feelings out. I told him how fucking hard he was making this for me, and how hard it is for me to resist him. That I don’t want to be a bad person. That I hate how it’s so hard for me to not become a horny, wet mess if I’m alone with a boy I like.
He sat next to me and put his hand on my shoulder and told me that he understood. He always did. He understands how hypersexual I am..and he started saying things..saying things that were so sexy, and so true.
“I know you. Better than anyone else. I probably know some things about you that even you don’t know. I understand you. And I also know that because of what you’ve been through, at such an early age, you can’t help it. You were exposed too early and that’s what you were taught, so now that’s all that you want. Constantly. You can’t help but wanting to feel mens’ hands on you.”
I honestly didn’t want to think about that, ever. I want to believe my hypersexuality is just a normal part of me, but what he said is probably true. Lots of CSA survivors turn out that way. I know for sure he was so right about wanting to feel so many different hands on me, all the time..
Then he just started talking more, whispering, and touching me. He leaned over and started kissing on my neck and I couldn’t hold back anymore. I didn’t want to fight it. He started touching me all over and in all of the right places.
It felt so long since he had touched me so every little thing he did was sending shivers up and down my spine and making my entire body tremble. I was getting so fucking excited so fucking fast. I was breathing heavily without even knowing it.
He started saying stuff like “You dirty little girl, you know I have you. I’ve studied your body. I know what you like. I know how to turn you the fuck on. I have you wrapped around my little finger and you know you can’t escape me.”
I told him he was right. I told him no one else can fucking touch me and make me shake the way he does and it’s so true. I was honestly a shaking, squirming mess and my panties were absolutely soaked more than they normally would be.
He fingered the fuck out of me, we made out, I loved it.
And then he started talking about something that took me by surprise but made me even more turned on before, which I thought was impossible.
He said, “You know, when I was with my friends the other day, I showed them pictures of you. Those little pictures you post online, because you love to show off your little pussy to other men, don’t you?”
My eyes widened a bit and my heart skipped a beat, and he chuckled. “That’s right. I showed them. I showed them what a hot body you have, what a slut you are. And they love you. A tall black guy with 8 inches and another guy with a nice car. They want to fuck the shit out of you. They’re jealous that I got to smash you, and I love bragging about you, you voyeuristic little slut.”
“Who knows?” he continued with a grin, “I may just let them help me destroy you.”
I never expected that he would do that. He caught me by surprise. His..dominance, was so much more assertive than it’s ever been. But it didn’t bother me. It was making me even more wet and my clit was throbbing uncontrollably. It’s like he *knew* that it would turn me on, without even having to talk about it. He grabbed me by the throat and started smirking and laughing and said, “But you’re fucking mine, no matter how much you try to get away from me. You can’t resist me, can you?”
I started begging for him so hard and I felt like I was going to start crying. That’s how bad I wanted him inside me, and that’s how much overwhelming pleasure was filling inside me. It’s only been three weeks or so but it feels like it’s been so much longer. His hands feel foreign yet so familiar to me. I don’t know how to explain it, but he really knows all my special spots and all the right things to say, everything I’ve ever wanted to hear, and I don’t even have to *ask*.
But he didn’t fuck me. He’s teasing me. He wants me to wait. And today he told me he’s going to come to my house unexpectedly, tie me up, tease me and make me cum multiple times with his hands and a vibrator, and then fuck the shit out me…”whether I like it or not.”
And I can’t fucking wait.
Source: reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/bj6jdx/fm_the_best_fucking_sex_ive_ever_had